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Monday, November 21, 2011

HEART ATTACK - original title..."another full throttle ramble" and then I felt illl

(added following day)

So I started originally typing below the word START...and then felt ill like a heart attack

...and then watched a great documentary last night, and feel inspired to continue down my healing

path. I am not letting any more set backs get me down...life happens...so onward I march...I hope

there is something worthwhile someone can get out of this...you may email me and I will happily

reply...enjoy, think, rest easy please...smile...breathe deep a few times...it is health for us...get

centered, focused...and read away !...thanks and again enjoy...just a loose know typing on the

blog...content is my main purpose here...not grammar and sentence structure or vocabulary...just a

quick rant...so...

START - 11-21-2011

ramble on,
i sing my song

so here i am...just gonna hit the keys and what appears appears...will be an exercise in speed accurate...i am losing swiftly...the mind and stress...relax...so it will be fun...

i have this cool map of Rome, maybe from the 1500 by a man named Ligorio...printed from a hand carved wooden block, which was then inked, and then pressed onto paper

so my heart does not feel to well at the moment...

going to drink water and breathe deeply and calmly

being ill is quite nerve racking at this level i am at, heart, back, feet, etc.

chest still hurting at 818am...

taking breaks typing and breathing carefully

right arm numbing a little more now...i have nerve damage there already and this just makes it way worse all the way down my right arm

its a strange feeling to know you may just be having a heart attack this moment and kiss this world good bye... to travel onward

at this point I went to get a friend to watch over me

...


OK, next day...scary stuff...close to going to the ER but it all passed...but I am due for the lab rat run through any day now...

worst thing i do now is smoke...I eat well, exercise regularly, I am 160 lbs, 5'7" - I use to 5'9"...spine is that bad !...but I am usually chipper and ready to tackle the day to the best of my abilities...

I had heart cramping, chest pain, tachycardia (120 plus beats per minute)...I decided to tell my buddies I felt very ill...so I woke them up....concentrated on breathing...went to the window for fresh mountain air after I opened and breathed deep...the air instantly calmed my heart a little, as well as the view of the mountains let me relax deeply...I felt like if I freak I am having a heart attack...I will surely kill myself...so I made notes, got help, and it slowly passed ...and I really believe through being calm as possible, which i s very difficult to do when your thinking that you know its time!

So it is a little over 24 hours later...

I watched an excellent documentary last night titled, " Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead".

An excellent show and one of the finest most inspiring documentaries I have watched in some time.

A great guy from Australia, my age (43), was well over weight, suffered from some chronic conditions, and went on a 60 day juicing diet...this is something I am going to do (for at least 10 days) after consulting my doctors...maybe.

I have 0% faith in any of them, they do not cross communicate, they show they could care less if they ever see me or anyone else again (on the surface) and had me loaded with drugs, which I pitched a long time ago.

I refuse to take 14 medications multiple times a day, regardless of my conditions and that they are prescribed...all by one doctor at the time...I just new in my gut this is not good, highly toxic, made me more depressed, and made me always tired.

I am not suggesting anyone do what I did...I am simply sharing what I felt, what my instincts were and what I did.

I feel so much better in the last few years with 0 or very little medicine, that there is no comparison.

In the last few years I have also lost a total of 30 to 35 lbs.

I walk and hike when possible.

My broken back and gout (when it acts up) stinks, as does my heart, so learn, study, change drastically and carefully, communicate to the docs, and if your having a heart attack, do not be stubborn like me, go to the hospital or call the ambulance.

I am stubborn, but I also think it is part of y character make up that makes me say, I am walking no matter what, most of the time.

The pain is gut wrenching, distracting, makes me forgetful at times, often excruciatingly sharp, also always deep and at the least dull, and this pain crosses the threshold of all pains before, with the exception of gout, which is a beast of its own all together.

...so on top of that I may have to have another axillary biopsy...that growth left behind huts quite a bit lately as well.

when it rains it pours, and I have been getting rained on a lot  lately - non stop!

So point is...with the movie...this guy lost major weight, quickly, with a doctor's supervision, and simply juiced only for 60 days.

He had a glow when he was done, meaning his color changed...

he lost around 60 lbs.

was able to discontinue all medications

his chronic condition (a very rare rash that is extremely itchy, and covers the entire body)  is in 100% remission

and so here he is from Australia, and he inspires a trucker to lose weight and try this juicer reset, and he called him 2 weeks after he returned to Australia, and he went all the way back to the U.S.A., and set that guy up with real help...and he even inspired more, if that was possible!

That's all I am saying...you must watch it...I watched on NetFlix...well worth the hour and twenty minutes.

Juicing works, I am inspired, and am doing it at least for the micro nutrient supplement if I do not start out full blast.

I eat well but very light, when less active.

Supplementally should be perfect for me, I already got the BP way down to normal for a long time now...so I have to fuel the wrecked vessel I am, and heal.

That's the plan, and to do it while being as active as possible;e, which could mean stuck in bed several weeks, to feeling better and better at times, as that is how this life goes.

So I will post some things up from time to time...but I am certain the juicing is well worthwhile, as with what I have studied and experienced, I need these micro nutrients.

Have you seen President Bill Clinton?...He looks better then when he became President.

A Vegan now, and a different regimen then this one, but with multiple similarities too the juicing.

After resetting your bodies set point, and then also having detoxified, you will not desire to eat the garbage we are served at fast food placed or off the shelves of the stores.

Most of our foods are over processed, macro-nutrient rich (not as healthy, and mostly complex carbohydrates), and the fruits and veggies that are NOT  fresh are only left with 10% of their nutrients as compared to with as picked, by the time we consume them.

So fresh is the best and juicing.

Also you're filled up and do not desire a tone of food after the juicing.

I have fasted many times.

I always feel healthier, clearer in thought, focused, and energetic.

That usually takes three days first, and these guys in the movie were identical to my pattern I have observed from my own experience.

I think I am ready to quit smoking, fast and juice, or eat light well healthy and juice a lot.

Or I can have a heart attack.

I still have a choice...that movie brought that point home abundantly clear.

If anyone wants to join, we can make a support group, do this together, heal and support and root for one another and share our experiences and keep track of our individual goals.

It would be wonderful to make 44 next month...if not...it has been a beautiful time no matter the circumstance...every event can be a lesson enjoyed, if not at the time then later...often long after and upon reflection, discussion, studying, sharing, and keeping an open mind...even the most hideous appearing tragedies always reveal great life lessons when we look for them.

Life is the most valuable assett...I think we may finally be realizing that as a people across the world, and together collectively, that is the power that is positive with instant communication in real time.

It gives us a chance to do anything we dream.

When I am 85, 43 will have seemed perhaps difficult in a few respects, but I am thinking more and more that I will see this was a time that will be the catalyst to who I am going to become, not who I have been or what my health is.

I want to leave these problems here which will be the past, and heal 100%. I am determined always, even when depressed from time to time, the under ridng current is stronger and one of determination.

Faith is miracle's voice singing subconsciously in our mind's undercurrent of constant streaming thought.

Faith opens every door to all of the great possibilities.

As time needs time, so does Faith need Faith.

Faith building can be tough at best sometimes, and that seems to be when we gain even more of it.

I find patience and clarity and peace in Faith.

Medical doctors are what they are, but I know Faith kept me calm and alive yesterday and felling perfect with no ill side effects today.

I have been through all of this for a long time now, so I know when to jump to the doctors orders, when to get help, when to sit and be calm, when to rest, when to enjoy music, writing, playing guitar, bass, singing, recording music, etc....all Faith building for me personally...and most importantly for me, Faith has placed the right people in my life at the right time...and I needed that...now I am neither lonely nor alone, and that is the best feeling to promote healing.

Last Thanksgiving, I was using a walker, as my back had me contorted and twisted and in excruciating pain, and I had gout too, equally painful but in a different way entirely...

so Thanksgiving is in a few days...

I was alone in my home ill after a three year relationship.

I got the mail outside, found a note, and called a friend and his girlfriend who were broke and stuck here and sleeping in their truck.

It's cold, my furnace is broken, but we are together and it is spirit lifting for me , as I hope it is for them as well.

This may be the best Thanksgiving yet...things can change fast...one year...all unexpected...matters not how well I plan...life always knocks on my door and changes my direction...

I am thankful to have anything to offer anyone, I have been such a wreck, and I am thankful to everyone who has helped me survive this long.

A step away from death and a step away from homelessness is stressful, if you let it be, or in an odd way invigorating, if you so shall choose.

I am passive and focused in Faith, but a fighter in my soul, because I love this life so much, I want to hang on always with everything I have.

Those are some of the lessons from a combination of sports, Faith, life experiences, music, writing, education, etc.

hey all sharpen the mind and help in planning, execution, conservation of energy, tact, etc.

and mostly I believe we all have a time to depart, but we at the same time need to be determined to stick around

Over and over again I get some kind of severe scare and they do not leave quickly, and perhaps ever.

They are each valuable lessons that make me on a daily basis see the value and fragility of life.

sometimes i write sloppy, and directly from thought, I may not spell check or edit, because I mainly want to record the gist of a train of thought, and then come back later and piece the good together in rough form and begin refining...so perhaps this will all be a book one day when I start the next big project...dreams

It is important to me to record these things as perhaps i am not around at a point in time, and my work stops there...hopefully to help many and inspire...i do not intend on everything being broken thought fragments rambling on...eventually...I will have proofed, edited, and organized all this and more I have in paper books at home, and at least get a book and a book of poems too...

I want to write a book, I want to travel, I want to become both smarter and wiser, i want to be a better musician, and sure I desire fame and fortune but never as my main goal, and in the meantime I work on these dreams, and what you read is that...but most importantly, I write because I am a writer, I play and write and record music because i am a musician, and no matter what successes I achieve there, I am thankful I am still here today just to record a few thoughts from my mind to share.

Writing is and even more continually becomes a center to my life that I find great pleasure in sharing and that is an incredible source of soul nourishment, just as is the music.

If perhaps one day I am passed,
and did not a chance have to offer you a farewell,
here it is in a few words now,
carry onward loved friend,
never looking back,
and look for me where time stands still.