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Wednesday, January 6, 2016

A Very Personal Armageddon

Watching a family fight over make believe today (personal inner turmoil and fears) and an estate to come that may have a very sizeable value to it indeed is truly tragic !!! I am talking Shakespearian tragic !!! I do not much care for what our society has birthed because of its love for money. What would we be sharing together today if we cared not so much for almighty cash? This sickness it breeds is truly second to none and to have a society built atop that foundation concerns me. I was born when the foundation was the fabric of our constitution and bill of rights and that has shifted poorly over time. I hope soon we may shift that back and find one another soon while we still can. This is not a fucking joke people, as many seem to turn their heads is the sight of another's personal armageddon. To watch this other person's meltdowns that I have always deeply loved, no matter or own personal occasional stupidity, is truly difficult and they come from the lack of caring and concern of others or their very own greed, and that sits not well with me as I observe. So my friend left the key on my table and her things here and said she will not be back?? ... and so what do I do??? How am I responsible to that? Experience says give time time and a good walk will do another good, and deeply I am concerned but must stay my own course as I set sail long ago and to turn on this dime is not safe for me again. I have been and always will be that friend to count on. I hope you find your way home, where ever that may be, and know I loved you always friend. My heart truly knows and feels your hurt and the tears I truly cry right now are yours. I love you ! I will be here working harder then ever on healing... come fine me one day and lets share love. I know we are both so hurt and tired from anything less then love... we have to have it build us and not tear us down, and that is a choice by how we choose to react. I always love our dance but wow I hate our endings, or pauses if you will, so very often. I have a feeling this is goodbye again for now. This is a tale of tragedy that begets nothing but seeming more tragedy ! This is the hardest part of all my years in this city I love, the home that adopted me. Events truly send ripples like waves through to others and effect so very, very much.
There was a recent tragic event that took a life here and this was my friend's father's home and her Aunt has now passed and this is a devastating place to be and observe so much. No names or comments or even replies at all please... just silence and prayers for all of them that need this in their family.
I think I am going to sit on top of a mountain somewhere and watch the sun set... hurting and tired of watching tragedy ;(

...and then I un-post this as she, Rhonda, walked back in... thankful prayers answered.

Then she tells me there is a spot on her lung! Dear Lord I pray too that we heal together over sick adversity and illness.

What a very deep day after poor sleep and unrest by myself, Rhonda, and Richele.