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Friday, November 18, 2016

Indeed It's Been A Long Time ~ Excerpt ~ I Am Program

Long has it been since I smelled the fresh winter air to me, even though on a calendar it is never any different. This last year was time and time again a quiet alone-ness, a oneness, a time of feeling left for dead by all, and for what does it matter anyway.

But here I am again another winter upon me and yet again I gaze upon the mountains under stars and the moonlit sky in a November 70 degree night on the 17th and a wickedness of change quick in 36 hours away y to set in. I have wood to get, and things to do and I am weak and I only beg for help, and I am weak. I am certain above all that this os how it ends for a lot of folks in the hills. it is colder and colder and unprepared and ill equipped and ill in physical form all slowly comes to a screeching halt and for many out blankets and layers of clothing but the cold has set in and its now a battle to the core and temperature, hypothermia and mental toughness to somehow gain and keep your wits in a battle you can almost never win...and so you pray for help and a text but still with pride and with death close at hand you hope so to not impose as you choke down your cheese sandwich and shrivel away two cheese sandwiches in two days, and that's is all and perhaps a soda like a hummingbird to its nectar, sipping the day away...
It is not that I do not like the nourishing food it is just that it happened to be at hand when the side effects and the hypothermia and it all started to snowball...maybe even borderline diabetic too, But I am alive today. I watched my own friend die like this and told him to get help and you know what... he died almost just like this because nobody gives a good damned shit to uproot their own lives and burned others and with laws to tight etc ad infinitum, oh god dear lord oh please, well why not the personal and private quick alternative? and why not legalize it when a person still of sound mind yet withering body has a little fight left even after every possible suggestion against so doing but having lived against fears we all have o single idea most often, let us pray.

The air it is crisp. It could be a night as such. Yes, a night hike on a full moon I slip away a few days and hang in there as long as I can until I cannot and I take the concoction and I got to sleep and then in short order pre-arranged automated emails are sent alerting everyone where my vessel is so hey can do what they do with them. I am outta here baby and I am really starting to get some speed man...and it's different than you think... I mean there is plenty of time to steer clear if you pay attention...the comets up here are fast though and to be the same old me and just surfing on a light beam and all equally perfect and only thought in distance away..well...what could be better? All with me forever only a distance in thought now known as common. distance all but withered away, as I am Light, and I Am Program