No date - circa 1985
The Sun was out and I could smell hamburgers and hotdogs resting somewhere nearby.
As I sat on the edge the picnic table I was thinking about how I used to get decent grades and then how I was so much against drugs and alcohol.
I was a joke for three years in high school and I knew I was going to go to college. There were no two ways about it then reality struck and I realized I'm in A major slump.
My back was injured and I couldn't play football my senior year in high school, possibly my last chance to play organized ball. No problem I would be better in time for wrestling season. Well it still hurt and then and I was told my doctor not to Russell if I didn't want it to get worse. So I didn't. Then I look at my grades.
What happened to me in the last 2 years?
I may never wrestle competitively and I'm not going to a good college right away. I'm feeling pretty down right now but I'm the only one who understands what happened to. I know people look at me like I'm on drugs or something but I know I'm not, I've just hit rock bottom and can't get back up.
Everything I've attempted in the last 2 years I feel that, I can't even get a girlfriend I really care about. Worst of all the things I want to pursue my parents not really like.
It's my decision after all it's my life. I know they care and in the long run I won't let them down but right now it's time to get back to basics.
Go home and study on school nights, get plenty of sleep, and find something to do that I'm good at it to keep me in shape. These one sided conversations sure are depressing but you've got to take the time to think about priorities, right?
Maybe I just worry so much that I scare myself into doing bad. Well I've changed a lot lately some for worse and some for better. I've learned a lot from my stupid mistakes but now it's time to get up and find a motivation wherever it's hiding. Hopefully it's hiding behind this girl I want to go out with. I always wants to do well around her and tried to look my best so maybe that's where motivation is. I hope I find out soon because I'm sick of waiting. Well my friends are calling and it's time to get back to the real world.
As I walk over to all of them the cool grass use my tired feet. I sit at the picnic table and take a sip of coke. What a refreshing feeling as I revive my depressed body.
I begin to laugh to myself and realize things aren't that bad after all look at all my good friends out here with me enjoying themselves.
Just as I finish my hamburger I hear Brandon yell, quotation marks hey bub, let's go play some hacky sack. Quotation marks so I say okay...