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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Narco Trippin' ~ Poetry / Lyric ~ Fentanyl Diaries

At first...

Finally pain free I rejoice as youthful once again.

Then we dance...
and dance...
and dance.

Never your cadence over bound !

Now I'm changing and rearranging, will you work with me?

My air conditioned cell an icy 65, while I'm a nuclear furnace sweating intensely just dosed, and outside just 8 feet away through plate glass it's 108 !!!

Damn it, I need a bong hit Lord, to keep the sin away ! Keep all this pain at bay !

It all sounds so crazy, this private love affair, a deserved end !... I'm quelled.

Take a look at my MRI !!!

I stand ...

At all much less walk us pure daily miracle...

medical personal equality under a paradigm broken that forgets about the sickly like me,
I was such a good actor,
no one could see me,
for the freak I am.

It's quiet now,
Just like I asked right?
Dying inside,
Nowhere to run and hide,
alone with my pets,
my house of sin,
and belongings,
no one will share this place of mine,
this den of death and antiquity,
a noose on Chris' birthday,
as Chester so did take,
cowards come walk my way,
Forged it seems through fire,
I was born of military pride,
Regal royal blood,
molested by a son of a bitch Muslim his self a victim of such sinister sin,
his school growing up,
The men in charge,
As the Catholic church falls,
and the jihad only grows,
I had hoped to see this nonsense all end,
As sin only begets more sin,
and we all know the theif always steal away your soul in the night in the end,
as we all must one day so sleep,
it's all on these parts as a miserable dream,
however...

within these folds in-between,
I watched the most beautiful and precious of everything,
and oh dear lord the beauty that abounds and rises above all,
certainly must inspire...

Right?

And so listen,
what of faith?

Why within often quiet and alone,
and hurt so worse my best of friends now home,
no harm or foul really.

Others...
unwilling to leave me be,
why must you bother me in my life?,
as I've suffered enough already,
and I'm simply trying to study, write, learn, offer back,
practice principles in preparation,
for one last test,
In which I will want to be so finely prepared as I go home.

The worst contemplation upon any mind is most certainly that if taking a final test all nerves and upon flunking, understanding you will be left out,
not going to heaven... EVER... and that no matter how you tried, in fear you never loved and yet so wasted life crying over suffering and pain instead of knowing your being forged for greatness ahead.

So what now do you choose?

Crackberry Kush has me contemplate these run ins of life with the most certain of all shared destinies ahead where we all shall pass without doubt,
the portal that is death.

and...

As I observe the scales  so sharply out of balance,
I wonder how to counter one last time so that balance and fairness may be restored, however,
perhaps I shall just sit back and observe,
as I already know just how this dance goes,

And

Did I not indeed set all the pieces upon the table?,
So precisely and exactly as I had intended?,
These are all moves upon a table,
no defenses I'll crush my last move,
Precisely as I had so intended.

Like a snake I want to strike,
coiled up powerful and fast,
quickly back to coiling and stringing again,
however many times needed until fallen you have at last.

Paranoid,
I attack,
Right,
I attack,
Wrong,
I attack,
Left,
I attack,
Sun Tzu on deaf ears am I.

Wasted inefficient energy,
wasted intent,
misspent resources.
Ego and Pride never conquer strategy!

It's in my blood that I must fight,
a warriors soul and a heart of a lion,
but weak I am in pain,
Chemistry saves me,
Pharmacology,
a molecule or two,
Changes and changing outcomes,
Factors offered you to overcome,
I feel the heat and the relief,
from the fire and pain of my nerves,
awash in a viral bed of neural sin.

This is all from imagination,
As I skate on the thin ice of a new day,
born again I she'd my old vessel at long last,
I teleport after my telomeres,
A program divine,
shuts this old vessel down,
to get a trade in,
and come back again and again.

So,
Look for me when your here,
You'll know me by my eyes,
Look deep within,
It's where I still reside,
I'll always be your friend.