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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

RELATIONSHIPS GONE BAD ~ CHAPTER ONE

The woman who admitted in court last week that she's a liar and that she attacked my client emailed that she wants her television back.



In response to the above, writtem by an attorney friend from high school days now out in California...

.... and certainly not perfectly written, as I've spent enough time here it still and will always boggle the mind at least a minimum, but glad to say you can heal, but never fully recover.You can learn but you cannot delete. You best think at least twice about relationships is what I will say. Get to know someone and do not settle for poor personal habits. They unveil poor personal control, low esteem, poor health mentally that will lead to poor health spiritually and physically soon enough, some of those are not just going to be suffered by the alcoholic / addict either !!!

Truth is, from my personal experience, as I was the attacked man and my ex-... well she served jail time; I refused to testify because she had a bad night, ...again, however, she could have killed me with the escalating full blown events and I know I am happier than ever and safe today.

The State stood up on my behalf because these officers had been hear so often watching the battered guy so often asking for help but stopping at anything further...just as I studied I became the batter woman syndrome woman... poorly titled book, and sadly naively in love man,,, at the time... live and learn...

I call it writing fuel...

of your client... she stood tall in her case and just said what she needed to, and everyone wants whatever belongings they think are theirs, especially a woman feeling scorned, and I say this because my ex, yes I still talk to her, or did for a time, I do not anymore as I cut all these types out of my life for good, short of it is she did not remember any of it...

she feels scorned...just ridiculousness from ridiculousness !!! DENIAL

... she grew up an abusive weekend party hard warrior and she never quit... just hid it well as it was not often but almost always epic !!!

... and well she snapped out drinking,

then acted out from fantasy land... straight vodka and she was off to the races and her childhood friends I shielded her from like an angry parent loved to buy her a $6 pint and watch her go... I could still cut them all down in a blaze of bullets and hardly care the way they never cared for her... I told her early on I would never ever go to this one person home the trouble was always centered around. Fighting against certain disease becomes overwhelmingly hostile as time passes because, such as alcoholism, some are progressive, and I understand from others I have gotten the worst of it yet... she is sick getting sicker. ;(

Anyway, she blanked out that night like every time before.

That night those fine men and women, as several responded thankfully, started a process that very well saved my miserable existence at a bare minimum and my life at best and hers for certain for a while longer at least as she had to go get sober in jail and it was finally the miserable experience it should have been and it was indelible, at last, and before, since youth, she rarely ever served any time for a several page record. There were the 911 calls from previous nights, a record of events, a history of multiple assaults against many others, and on and on, I am simply trying to illustrate all of the classical red flags, and I wonder still how me ? not why me? but live we do if lucky and learn we may and I have !!! I am single now for a couple of years working on myself and bettering my positions everywhere and writing a lot,... can you tell..it's what I do along with a few other artsy things as I study life as a scientist from the point of nearly anywhere as an artist. I adore writing and the arts honestly and it has indeed, along with music... lead me to meet some interesting folks is a nice way to say it, and I am an interesting folk to "they" may say... we are all pretty intense as most artists definitely have strong similar attributes... so on and on... again, most importantly, thanks to the fine... it was actually a woman that interviewed me and made her arrest that evening...so thank you, Mam !!! I did not remember that fact until now, that is what intense duress does !!! Triggers pull memories bubbles from far below the depths of the lake of pain we are the are buried and stored far below the lake's floor and when the bubbles are allowed to surface, more healing has taken place ! This thread from facebook indeed offered release that no single person can force out alone... everyone will need this type of help one day, understand the area ahead now and understand what coping mechanisms are, develop them, and now where to seek more through other professionals, and if you refuse professional help ever your are only hurting yourself.


I am now today very happy over all and have a few worthwhile women in my life that I adore as love interests but that are simply friends, as I need to re-learn to dance so to speak because I want romance like a beautiful slow dance... like my parents made look so simple I truly never once considered the horrific what ifs...and I lived them with two wives, far different than this unbelievable episode. My life reads as truly horrifically unbelievable when e and I am thankful I am learning to walk again here... no matter who is the victim or the attac the er, damage is done two both sides...wow...emotional ride of experience but perhaps of interest with this topic as I see logic and rational in an upside down plastic world that makes less sense more often than not today !!! But never in these cases...the symptoms are classic once able to be observed.

One of the saddest paragraphs I have ever read was her sweet daughter's several paragraphs about waking up with an alcoholic Mother...damn it. I pray she is well today and quelled a broken life from early all the way until now. She is a smart woman and a miracle in so many ways and wants to be the oldest graduate from Harvard because she knows if she ever makes it she will be ancient because the gals that are born and raised broke in these hills where I reside today rarely escape. some treacherous families of extreme broken ignorance and abuse she escaped from, kind of, but damage like this are lifelong and coping mechanisms early on are lifestyles learned at young ages that make your head spin...speaking of heads spinning...well first, I tried to save her... still do to a degree but never again as I did so once, and damn I Paid for it, but I asked for it too I suppose. She does not remember throwing the cell phone on ay my head another night,,, it hit right on the corner as a perfect throw at high speed should and what aim, I should have signed her to a pitching contract that night !!! Well, the scar is right there like a John Travolta dimple on my forehead right in the center... you know another character mark.

I asked her once,... why did she have to make sharing love so very complicated? ... this something so simple.