630 pm arrived back in Cumberland.
Had rear tire on my truck separate. Fortunately, I had what was needed on hand and reoaired it myself until at the very end a very kind tow truck driver stopped to chit chat and help...one of those angels on the spot...i didn't ask for help and I was content to be safe and able bodied enough to help myself and happy to on such a perfect day weather wise. My race was the clock against the interior of the truck holding my digs, as it was 92+ outside.
I figured slow and methodical as safety must always be first. No rushing and poor nerves. I don't live like that anymore. I'm planned and effective and able and soon I'll safely pull onto the highway and be home.
This kind man dropped his vehicle off at the garage (which was closed the entire time u was there) and then insisted on bringing the truck over and running the compressor and pneumatic impact gun so I could tighten my lugs. I had only a 3/8" drive ratchet and socket that I removed them with and only a have but no handle, to which I improvised with an end wrench and small 1/4" rather like a perpendicular handle for leverage to change the wrench around, thus raiseng the small factory jack under the axel housing of the rear end where I crawled under. I was ready for a nap after 1000 tough rotations on mouth of my carpal tunnel hands as the sweat dripped down fast and I thought really truly, this sucks but look at me...no it doesn't...i don't need to even ca my road service. I'm faster than they'd get there. The rest was utilizing common sense and getting off the busy interstate safely first.
The tire tread flap that came off whacked my truck bed and bent up a corner a bit, but nothing serious that I can not easily adjust. All that mattered was I got off the interstate safe.
I had just thought how well these old tires served me in a pinch after having a tore slashed earlier this summer and changing the set. This was the good natch to the tire that got stabbed to death. My neighbor John had four tires slashed ;( I believe there may have been other victims but the newspaper was vague and I only found out by talking face to face with John.
The rest of the ride home was perfect and perfect uneventful as the sun slipped down towards the mountain in which soon to hide behind and tuck away into the coming night, which draws ever closer as I rest in my king size bed thankful to be at my other home in my heart always since the first day I visited it, Cumberland.
This place calms a rattled soul! I love DC, but after being bear the Pentagon on 911 and other various serious reasons of life situation and personal circumstance, I always knew that my retreat to Cumberland was just that. It was a retreat to readjust to a life I didn't understand.
I'd been truly victimized enough and also admittedly, not understanding how to properly ask for and receive help, abused myself for ages; my coping mechanism of choose, powerful nails into my coffin each and all, I drank like no body else can! I metamorphosize into this lush that can consume so much beer it looks my gut has turned camel, and I like the numbing annebriation that ports me far away from the insanity that plays over and over in my fuvking head... or use to...it diesnt so much anymore.
I'm no longer that me I use to be. Nobody understood that part of me and it's only on retrospect I see somehow my nerves and my heart an repeated traumatic life experiences and other disease somehow all combined left me past deaths door.
I had a drop dead heart attack amount other all very serious complications, and by miracles of the unknown and known both, medical science and the angels that practice this healing faith brought me back from over the edge of the most definite event horizon!
I had love I desired desperately back here in earth to share still and I prayed id be able to return and I left that possibility in faiths hands, and it was one hell of a tide I remember, strangely, vividly. In such ways nobody believes, however perhaps if conditioned myself for the very event somehow, through silly needless annebriation after a friend was murdered especially, but because I was having a rather romantic affair with alcohol really too, and I must have indeed loved it, for i placed it first above all. I'm not that fucked up guy today, thankfully. I'm a newly born soul halfway through an exciting life...its weird being able to look back on a history, but knowing too as a soul, your different distinctly, evolved at long last. Evolving still however, and understanding life is a changing process and I accept that which will be that's beyond my control. In fact, I embrace the journey as only them can it reward the bountiful gifts that will shower upon thee.
I'm incredibly blessed to be able to observe and share again, as before, that which can ridiculously easily, and some of that ease too has slipped away, and where strengths once were abundant, I'm feeling more normal than I've ever known, but it's really just a calm.
The calm is new.
I'm unsure if it's the device and fact that I relish in being a cyborg, fixed, or that somehow the ecperience in it's totality somehow reset thresholds and possibilities on a multitude of levels both within my mind, and perhaps as a body as a medical patient perhaps, and I hope and pray, for and that others may somehow benefit.
You can survive often if you want to and believe in this possibility but you move forward onto the next realm is reassuring to, in a way I only knew before as my parents love, and it's even more incredible, however, it's not of this physical realm. It's completely all of the mental realm where we there are each present to anotger, all seeing, all knowing.
The manifestations of reality there are only that which we all see clearly and nothing more ever and nothing less.
I'm will g yo gurgle my certain destiny, to be able to come back and share more if this blessed gift of life I get to share still, so very thankfully, and likely, most would not believe this or other specify memories I've recorded if this mist remarkable journey through tragedy in health.
We've come a very long way and I pray that others may have their lives continued and we should all value life deeper and more and promote life upon our way.
I'm blessed to be with my fogs and home safe and I thank the good Samaritan that stopped and assisted the tail end of my tire change.
Small bless gs make the world a better place for everyone, and we can all make a difference wherever we are together.
I applied for re-enrollmebt yo the Fraternal Order of Eagles in Alexandria, Virginia while I visited, and I've been absent for 22 years from the current roll of members. It's time to get back to normalcy and life was pretty incredible back then. I attended the annual picnic Saturday (yesterday) and it was great to see a friend and meet a couple if new ones. My one friend gave me news tough to hear, so I then sat by myself for a bit and absorbed the news and then ate some early dinner at the picnic and headed out to mert my fatherer for a concert at the Alexandria Campus of NVCC, where we had a fantastic time together yesterday evening.
What another wonderful trip after the toughest year of my life. Everything from here forward is a blessing.
