I was talking to the drummer
About the shape of history
I said, man, I had this thought
Way back in 1983
He said, here he goes again
With the cosmic commentary
I said, no, just listen up
I’m talking ’bout my theory
Then his phone lit up blue
Like it wanted to get near me
Said, how can I help you?
I said, no, I said my theory
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
No theory?
No, theory
Siri
Serious Larry
The drummer said, hold up, man
Why’d my phone just call you Larry?
I said, I don’t know, my friend
But this is getting kind of scary
He said, you got something going on
With my phone when I’m not around?
I said, brother, I swear to God
I just made a theory sound
She said, calling Larry now
I yelled, cancel, cancel, cancel
The drummer backed away from me
Like I’d started dating Apple
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
No theory?
No, theory
Siri
Serious Larry
I said, my theory
She said, I’m Siri
I said, no, theory
She said, this is serious
I said, not serious
She said, okay, Larry
The drummer said, how does my phone
Know your term of endearment?
I said, brother, I don’t even know
My own passwords
He said, don’t play dumb with me
That phone knows all your hazards
Now every time I open up
My mouth to say a thought
Somebody’s phone starts glowing
Like the robots have been taught
I can’t discuss the universe
I can’t explain the sky
Without a tiny pocket cop
Saying, Larry, don’t you lie
I said, it’s just a concept
She said, contact saved
The drummer said, you better run
Before my phone gets brave
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
No theory?
No, theory
Siri
Serious Larry
No, no, no
That ain’t my name
My theory
Siri
Serious
Larry
The drummer’s phone
Has got no shame
