Friday, June 7, 2019

Ego, That So Full of All Sin, Is Killing You

Healing and feeling better today is amazing because it's showing me that I lived a lifetime with heart deficiencies that cost me greatly !...and more importantly than my selfish perspective is the perspective that these great symptoms are not 100% pinpointed as far as a scientific and medical diagnosis, but at least they can be treated.

I really appreciate myself and the cardiologist that I have today are able to engage in a casual conversation and eagerly, truly, and that he genuinely wants to hear my feedback...and the conversations that we have although, quickly paced, are deep and of quite abstract nature herein respects to the heart,... where we both are visualizing and verbalizing what it is that we see and want to convey to another. That's powerful stuff and there's no replacing it and I don't get enough of it!!!

That's healing !!!!!!! It's not healing when a doctor walks the other way and cannot engage in, and share the healing. A healer carries the healing within and delivers it to the suffering and then offers it as a better way to move forward, and as a leader if all, shows others how to makes those precise moves by doing those things first for thyself, teaching immediate others.

I can show you everything not to do and I can show you everything to do and that is up to you but we should trust that our doctors the licensed practicing professionals that are so brilliant and learned, will do this in the most genuine of ways oh, this is leading others into lives of healing.

I see an entire paradigm shift coming into its own, but it is because of the great suffering that many are about to come firsthand, "face-to-face" with & for the first time in their lives, this deep suffering like never before, and trust me... you better hold on tight !!! ...and what that means is... take good care of yourself, and start being kind each day more than you were yesterday, and learn to care for those that are immediately around you, lifting all others, leaving none to suffer... heal and lift that obvious one needing it so first most now !!!!!!!

My friend suffering from depression, the other day apparently early June 2019,  jumped off the bridge behind my home,... and this my friend that brought me to the theatre now, where I serve on the board of directors.

My brilliant musician artist friend that often ran tech at the theatre, off and on and was just a good soul and a beautiful individual, and for whatever reason just couldn't find happiness or balance... and that's not to any fault of his own or anybody else it was just his walk in this life.

Fucking tragic ;( ...such a loveable soul ;( Bless you Brandon. May God carry you home now fast, delivering you at once to happiness in an instant, finally knowing that emptiness so haunted you had.

This I pray for his peace but I fear that by canceling his life lessons he will be in this purgatory until it is time that he will be lifted and exalted but for now he needed this break,  because we all know that we have been broken before...and nearly given in. Please do not give in !!!

I'm sure he felt as I have felt that nobody cares and it's not that nobody cares it is that we are all suffering from austerity !!! It's where we are not empowered to even help those around us because we cannot help ourselves!!! Wake up and realize what is happening around you because it's for everyone that we lose a family and many friends are affected and that takes us all out of the equation towards success and it only makes a bigger burden of us upon the systems which upon us are already feeling it. This is very strategic in nature and you should wake up and take this very personally. Tell me honestly that you don't know somebody that has died of an opiate overdose?

We are under assault from every and all angles, and that is just because others want the life that we have so built so we'll and good and healthy, and are trying to share, but they are not willing to work for themselves, and they want to be theives in the night and inherit what they think is theirs... they, of trust me now, shall fail ! They are failing and falling all around so now as others stand and live !!!!!!!

When you numb yourself with alcohol, or weaken yourself with drugs, you succumb. Be careful if treating yourself when so ill, so necessary it may be, beware so still. Your days from the time that you start self abuse will pass quicker and then tear into your life and rip apart and destroy what would have been otherwise, these choices you have made. Think ahead a bit more now please, and be far more wise.

Ego,
that so full of all sin,
is killing you !!!!!!!

Reply to, Devastated. Can Not Go On

I'm unsure what's up... but I promise another million doors will open for you and a beautiful life if you keep holding on. I know it's bit fun and I know it's lonely, but your truly not alone. Millions everywhere feeling just like this and left in silence, desperate, and alone. Come back soon and show then the Light you'll soon know too. Who leads us out of the darkness when most do not come back? Wait for the miracle, please. Patience is not about us...it's eternal. Look around you? You'll know your truest friends of strength, you'll see other suffering too, that you just thought a moment ago were in a different universe. Clarity is jarring. Just hold on until the new world settles around us, and I promise, watch then how you fit in. Don't fear the unknown, as we really knew nothing much up to this point either honestly. Blessings

Thursday, June 6, 2019

kcaB gnikooL ~ Poetry / Lyric ~ Cyborg∆Steve

Ago...

And as the rains kept coming, the people doubted Noah less.

Now perhaps...

...and as disease and disaster multiplied exponentially, the people couldn't help another, even with the finest that recorded history had to report as far as technology goes, because arguing over causation was so much more important their egos that I'm writing to the sould that would have beenwhoses eyes will most definitely know truth herein, and so dealing with what's happening and preparing ahead seemed an impossibility even though all camps should agree that is indeed the only course of action no matter suspected causation.

Move away from the coast and stay out of the flood plains. it's easy to do statistical analysis and see which of the safest places to live and just by playing the odds we will fare better in those regards. If someone would like to go private and new insurance will be offered to them, they can enjoy themselves but the rest of it are not paying for their Gamble any longer.

And so watch cuz that's the way it will be. Mankind will never overcome nature. We might indeed manipulate it but never will we overcome It ultimately, when she wants to take her turn up on us she with ease will. We might manipulate the weather but then she will turn in the act of equilibrium and some other way to rebalance what is hers and to humble us always because that is our destiny damned here in this life until evolved beings we each become.

Is there really another way?

Look around at your leaders and what they profess to live and believe versus the lives they lead.

Reincarnation or Final Escape ? ~ Cyborg ∆Steve

Gotta have an escape plan ;) ... reincarnation. Hmmmmm

What next ? Or just rise one last time.

I'm spent, perhaps soon to cycle not further, and to smile while in flight lifted I'd be kissing God's face waiting for you each and all, soon.

Whatever all these lives, they were incredible.

This one the finest of them all...and what an ending, whatever it is.

Why Wolves Howl Perhaps

I'm listening to howling wolves on YouTube and my dogs both came over and snuggled to me.

This one's what we were listening to. There are others that they will howl along with but this one definitely makes them want to rest.

https://youtu.be/ArFicwCRupU

Then I had this thought...

Listening to wolves howling I just realized it's because their heart is broken because they miss the indigenous man that was wiped out from that environment or rose up and left them. The crying heart of the broken hearted, the best friend, left behind and forgotten.

Dragon Flame Breath Seared Sin ~ Poetic Facts & Promise / Lyrics ~ Cyborg∆Steve

I want to smother this dragon of death, and those that chase it set free, and those that distribute smash. It is a quiet trail, often with only hindsight making visible the destruction but only until it's done. One answer of a quick easier softer way is Kratom, take it out now, escape fast and only in a way of great respect, this plant mitrogena speciosa, cultures use and proof thousands of years now used, use it still with only the deepest respect, and less is always more, no less than 2g though or sedating, more than 6-8g, overstimulating. MG & H7MG, the two main molecules, my tea. Filtered water, microwave 125, two teaspoons (2.2g perfect level teasooons per each) perfect  start, but if you have a broken heart diseased, like me, once again I'll say forwarned you start !!!

10 months past and I'm a free man of narcotics , and once a day this tea. Set me free !!!!!!!

It helps miserable spinal diseased too, in terrible pain, Cyborg∆Steve.

I've had other bouts too now since death and revived,
and I'm quite amazed I still not 100% yet, have still with my cyborg help now, 500% more fight !!!!!!!

Now I'm finally getting down to business, and when I start rolling, you best watch me heading your way!

Next, the dragon smothered,
no more killing my sister's and brothers,
China White, black tar, fentanyl illicit, all narcotic illegal derivatives, legal and abused too, whatever molecular mix narcotics from this poppy is the flower with the promise of death sealed upon sins lips, away this problem now it's time to take, at last, this fight quiet, but no myth.

Black Ops prepare to defend proactively, identified and quantified evil factions now downtake in instances coordinated swiftly, clusters wirldeide, react, react, react... dispatch and dismiss.

If your uncertain, we are looking for hundreds of millions yet justified income, who has not paid their tax, who has clusters of friends dying far to fast???, and still stands tallest of all feasting on the dragon flame breath seared sin???

Before my fentanyl journey and other narcotics, I was just Steve, then Takotsubo, death and elsewhere fast I departed, revived, pacemaker / defribrillator implanted, Cyborg∆Steve

∆, because...
without "the evolved beings" that through dedication (work), promote life together, even past their human death, forward next generations along, so this gift past, and we further evolve medical science, to have the ability to serve longer here, so deservedly damned.

Promote Life

Denomination Divides

A good life, is a simple, not over complicated, life,... time for love and family,... friends,... know no enemy ever again, and no enemy ever again by which life promoting rules so not played, them deal with if needed quick, erase, time to long given, these ill, the undeserved more so suffer when these we don't quick finish business and quickly deal, is it time for public boilings?

Shall we boil the dealers of heroin and fentanyl, in public for all to see???, from sea to shining sea ???

Somewhere right now, near you this reader, is this monster killing and you know precisely it's very den, it's time to turn the table and let the light shine in on this smothering darkness, you can conquer this and in one fail swoop, all your sins...

call now and share this information.

Go and speak with those who will take a report and listen, and these facts you display for them... or the problem you are yourself a part !!! Don't you see what happens when everyone else around thinks the way you already are right now? It's pure, shear madness and it's getting darker fast.

No Light Shall Sign, Until You Let It In

Let It In

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

A Healing Heart, What Are We Missing Concerning Early Diagnosis and Treatment of Heart Disease ???

My heart healing shows me in retrospect how long it was crippled ! Wow... I'm thinking maybe always even. I feel it's efficiency now at times and I've never known this confidence or nerve calmingness before. I'm quite different than the me I was a short time ago, and appreciative and astonished I'm praying I can solve ways yo help spot and treat this even sooner in patients... Somehow.

I used to just get utterly gassed wrestling but I'd slug it out, but it was like someone, in an instant stole my breath and all my energy. Growing up with asthma, well I just attributed it to that.then I hurt my back and was never ever that regularly ridiculously able to be so very physical again like the demands of wrestling.

My fight against my sound has distracted me greatly from the known fight against my heart. I'd even been winning against my heart issues greatly, however when Takotsubo Syndrome strikes upon my already intermittent heart issues, it's an imperfect storm in waiting to steal one away.

I believe a pacemaker years ago, as I asked for many times would have prevented this 15 or so many years back when I first asked. According to protocol, I didn't fit the profile of a recipient  so no pacemaker would be fitted. I sure do you I did, or should, and it still amazed me that with evidence in hand at that time I was still not a candidate.

Well I became the perfect and ideal candidate recently, and after 15 rounds of a slug-fest, I walked away with a trophy called life and it's in my chest next to my heart keeping it synchronized and efficient and getting this old body ready to finally puck up the peices and make something of my time and life so offered.

If you,

Get breathless easily
Cannot dedicate to planning
Have passion and lose desire
Have anxiety
Have chronic fatigue syndrome, or fibromyalgia
And suffer myriad other conditions that are hard yo pinpoint and have increased with age, you notice you heal slower and your drained most always and cannot sleep restoratively it feels ever, I suggest we look more closely to the heart.

By a Fitbit and know and learn about your heart...monitor regularly.

Check blood pressure daily.

Eat heart healthy !

Get regular blood work.

My heart was born with a mermur. It was enlarged a long time. I had a terrible case hsv-1 that was not healing until I suggested to my Drs my ideas about what these non healing wounds in my head were. Tests proved my theory right.

By using Curcumin only, and no heart medication (that could possibly have prevented my events of Aug 12, 2019 but I chose to quit over a decade ago, my heart had returned to normal size.

As my HSV-1 took hold and was stealing from me, my heart weakened and was damaged I believe.

I drank abusively once upon a time, and I admit that could have contributed to my conditions, however it doesn't look likely.

I was also once bitten by an Assassin bug 12-15 years ago and I had to tell my Drs what Chagas disease was. It could be that too...but nobody ever wanted to test me! Repeated requests and responses of unprofessional disbeleif, like I'd be too stupid to know what I'm alleging ! Lol

People slowly dying apparently are bit often taken as serious or competent, and i contend, because we look like bloody hell and don't present well. What the full happened yo empathy ? You should not be able to be a healer if you cannot display empathy !!!

I'm glad to see the medical paradigm shifting to what works, and that is science backed with passion and compassion and the proof is look at the healing that's possible today.

My most recent care was precisely what I felt I needed as i suspected at age 29 or 30 in 1997 or 1998. That's when this all started. After a terrible fall down steps. A haunting repeating theme of my life somehow. Always solid wooden ones too ! Wet shoes twice (ran out yo get newspaper in rain in board shoes :() , heart attack, and whoops once down i went. GMU I did a few summersaults down two sets of long concrete steps. No idea how I survive but I libes evil kenevil growing up.

Damnit

And concussions galore.

I have a list somewhere in my blog unpublished. 7 times the work of my published utterings !!!!!!!

I now need yo comolile a list of all my past suspected heart attacks and heart events. The main one documented was diagnosed nutcracker of the esophagus LMFAO...really ? And my heart beat 240 beats a minute for 14 hours because I was anxious !

Glad I waited to call this time until I was literally standing dead...no heart beat but breathing... hoping...and then ... Down the steps on my way to the door fast to unlock it and then lie down.

Down the steps and I think face first into the solid plaster and double brick wall. somehow I stood up and I could not straighten my neck and I ended up sitting down on the floor while screaming and then slammed my neck and keep the floor trying to not the vertebrae back in so I could straighten my neck. It did not work the first two times and on the third time I knew it was my last time just like the two before and I knew that I cannot fail because I was running out of time and so I screamed at the top of my lungs and Drew in the deepest breath I possibly could and I don't even know how on Earth I was breathing or alive at this point but I knew where I was and then I swung back words hard as I sat from that's the last I remember until spewing out fit and having the wind pipe tube ripped out as they had just provide me with CPR but I don't know how long yet I waited.

I was very competitive when I came to and was immediately chemically placed into a coma and then in 24 hours I came to and remarkably the last time I swear my neck into the floor even then my vertebrae are dislocated still my neck is straight and you can't see anything wrong with me but the MRI showed two different from before and it was very obvious to them as they thought I did break my neck and I told them I think I did too. I've never told any of my doctors all of that part of the story. I didn't want them to keep me at the hospital. I wanted to go home and I took my brace off in 5 days. They just really don't understand this is not my first rodeo and I've been fighting and fighting and fighting so long it's not funny.

I'm looking forward to getting all of this organized so that I can paint the bigger picture for others to see and then with greater scrutiny we can develop and design a new protocol for the diagnosis and treatment of disease and I've actually already written about it. it would be something that of course can be flexible and always involve and I just been doing this because my experience says we have great terrible vest feelings and I don't think you'll find one person that will argue against that statement or against me and what I have to say here. We also have great triumphs and we must make sure that these triumphs are spread far and wide so that others may share in the midwife and be able to enjoy the pursuit of happiness as has been returned to me by the countless selfless individuals I can't even begin to name. To start to name anybody would be a disservice to all of the people I would get which would be a multitude because it is truly taking this beautiful city, between city of Cumberland, to put this bum back together again.

I'm in awe if every day and as the trauma fades in everything kind of starts returning to whatever the new normal is I'm just so appreciative and can't wait to give back now.

My life is completely different but it's completely not it's the same but better in every aspect like what I had dreamed of just a short time ago oh, we're almost every aspect oh, there's certainly no perfection in here has that awaits us all.

After all the trauma it's pretty amazing that my ct scans recently were normal ! no I honestly don't know 100% what that ensures but I do know that it beats having CT scans that show for developments, that's for sure. I don't think it rules out things like CTE

I was also I pain management for 4-5 years and on as much FENTANYL as 90mcgms per day prescribed through transdermal patch.

Once I solved the hsv-1 proliferation and we treated it, my pain started to to subside greatly, but not wholly !!!

We tapered down to 90 mg morphine daily, then 30 (way too large a cut !!!,) If oxycodone. This made me anxious which I told my professionals that it brought anxiety backand so I returned to smoking. I felt like I couldn't control that urge wish I had stopped for 3 years ! I have had countless times where the professionals of absolutely not listen to me ! Why ?

The Friday night of August 10th 2018 I went down to help at the local theater where I serve on the board of directors and I did take one pill of oxycodone in a few hours before my Walt time. That was the last time I was outside until I was on my way to the hospital. Saturday I felt so miserable I took no medication and I had none Sunday morning and I'm so thankful that I was wise enough you just rest and not take anything for pain.

I somehow survived that journey first.

I now utilize Kratom which I never took until very shortly after I returned home from my heart attack in my pacemaker and defibrillator implantation.

I had ordered it before my heart attack and it had arrived while I was in the hospital and so my transition would continue and once I was done with the narcotics prescribed to recover from my surgery and pain from my fall, I started to experiment with very minut amountsof Kratom after doing well over a year of my own due diligence on the topic.

My heart was functioning at less than 15% and yesterday I had an ejection fraction of 55% which is extraordinary.

My heart is feeling and I take somewhere between 428 grams of Kratom one time a day and very very very rarely twice a day.

This is a very mighty herb that truly must be respected and when utilized properly hold straight promise. Trust me and trust the science and a listen to propaganda not.

You must know that your source is clean from heavy metals and any other type of contaminants so go to a source that offers testing no matter of the price and have a reputation of excellence.

When you have a new supply delivered start with only 2 grams or maybe even one depending on your own sensitivity and see how powerful and potent your particular new type is.

I've written elsewhere about Kratom but I want you to remember my uses started after my eventanf helped greatly!

Original HardHeadRokk, Now Cyborg∆Steve