Coming Back Home ~ Cyborg∆Steve

630 pm arrived back in Cumberland.

Had rear tire on my truck separate. Fortunately, I had what was needed on hand and reoaired it myself until at the very end a very kind tow truck driver stopped to chit chat and help...one of those angels on the spot...i didn't ask for help and I was content to be safe and able bodied enough to help myself and happy to on such a perfect day weather wise. My race was the clock against the interior of the truck holding my digs, as it was 92+ outside.

I figured slow and methodical as safety must always be first. No rushing and poor nerves. I don't live like that anymore. I'm planned and effective and able and soon I'll safely pull onto the highway and be home.

This kind man dropped his vehicle off at the garage (which was closed the entire time u was there) and then insisted on bringing the truck over and running the compressor and pneumatic impact gun so I could tighten my lugs. I had only a 3/8" drive ratchet and socket that I removed them with and only a have but no handle, to which I improvised with an end wrench and small 1/4" rather like a perpendicular handle for leverage to change the wrench around, thus raiseng the small factory jack under the axel housing of the rear end where I crawled under. I was ready for a nap after 1000 tough rotations on mouth of my carpal tunnel hands as the sweat dripped down fast and I thought really truly, this sucks but look at me...no it doesn't...i don't need to even ca my road service. I'm faster than they'd get there. The rest was utilizing common sense and getting off the busy interstate safely first.

The tire tread flap that came off whacked my truck bed and bent up a corner a bit, but nothing serious that I can not easily adjust. All that mattered was I got off the interstate safe.

I had just thought how well these old tires served me in a pinch after having a tore slashed earlier this summer and changing the set. This was the good natch to the tire that got stabbed to death. My neighbor John had four tires slashed ;( I believe there may have been other victims but the newspaper was vague and I only found out by talking face to face with John.

The rest of the ride home was perfect and perfect uneventful as the sun slipped down towards the mountain in which soon to hide behind and tuck away into the coming night, which draws ever closer as I rest in my king size bed thankful to be at my other home in my heart always since the first day I visited it, Cumberland.

This place calms a rattled soul! I love DC, but after being bear the Pentagon on 911 and other various serious reasons of life situation and personal circumstance, I always knew that my retreat to Cumberland was just that. It was a retreat to readjust to a life I didn't understand.

I'd been truly victimized enough and also admittedly, not understanding how to properly ask for and receive help, abused myself for ages; my coping mechanism of choose, powerful nails into my coffin each and all, I drank like no body else can! I metamorphosize into this lush that can consume so much beer it looks my gut has turned camel, and I like the numbing annebriation that ports me far away from the insanity that plays over and over in my fuvking head... or use to...it diesnt so much anymore.

I'm no longer that me I use to be. Nobody understood that part of me and it's only on retrospect I see somehow my nerves and my heart an repeated traumatic life experiences and other disease somehow all combined left me past deaths door.

I had a drop dead heart attack amount other all very serious complications, and by miracles of the unknown and known both, medical science and the angels that practice this healing faith brought me back from over the edge of the most definite event horizon!

I had love I desired desperately back here in earth to share still and I prayed id be able to return and I left that possibility in faiths hands, and it was one hell of a tide I remember, strangely, vividly. In such ways nobody believes,  however perhaps if conditioned myself for the very event somehow, through silly needless annebriation after a friend was murdered especially, but because I was having a rather romantic affair with alcohol really too, and I must have indeed loved it, for i placed it first above all. I'm not that fucked up guy today, thankfully. I'm a newly born soul halfway through an exciting life...its weird being able to look back on a history, but knowing too as a soul, your different distinctly, evolved at long last. Evolving still however, and understanding life is a changing process and I accept that which will be that's beyond my control. In fact, I embrace the journey as only them can it reward the bountiful gifts that will shower upon thee.

I'm incredibly blessed to be able to observe and share again, as before, that which can ridiculously easily, and some of that ease too has slipped away, and where strengths once were abundant, I'm feeling more normal than I've ever known, but it's really just a calm.

The calm is new.

I'm unsure if it's the device and fact that I relish in being a cyborg, fixed, or that somehow the ecperience in it's totality somehow reset thresholds and possibilities on a multitude of levels both within my mind, and perhaps as a body as a medical patient perhaps, and I hope and pray, for and that others may somehow benefit.

You can survive often if you want to and believe in this possibility but you move forward onto the next realm is reassuring to, in a way I only knew before as my parents love, and it's even more incredible, however, it's not of this physical realm. It's completely all of the mental realm where we there are each present to anotger, all seeing, all knowing.

The manifestations of reality there are only that which we all see clearly and nothing more ever and nothing less.

I'm will g yo gurgle my certain destiny, to be able to come back and share more if this blessed gift of life I get to share still, so very thankfully, and likely, most would not believe this or other specify memories I've recorded if this mist remarkable journey through tragedy in health.

We've come a very long way and I pray that others may have their lives continued and we should all value life deeper and more and promote life upon our way.

I'm blessed to be with my fogs and home safe and I thank the good Samaritan that stopped and assisted the tail end of my tire change.

Small bless gs make the world a better place for everyone, and we can all make a difference wherever we are together.

I applied for re-enrollmebt yo the Fraternal Order of Eagles in Alexandria, Virginia while I visited, and I've been absent for 22 years from the current roll of members. It's time to get back to normalcy and life was pretty incredible back then. I attended the annual picnic Saturday (yesterday) and it was great to see a friend and meet a couple if new ones. My one friend gave me news tough to hear, so I then sat by myself for a bit and absorbed the news and then ate some early dinner at the picnic and headed out to mert my fatherer for a concert at the Alexandria Campus of NVCC, where we had a fantastic time together yesterday evening.

What another wonderful trip after the toughest year of my life. Everything from here forward is a blessing.

Serving Rome Within ~ Cyborg∆Steve

I was raised in the rich suburbs of Rome, while my Father, a military man, represented for the Cesar in his military conquests.

I hail from Alexandria, Virginia... a port city upon my beloved Potomac from which you could almost toss a stone to the worlds most powerful city, Washington, DC... modern Rome herself.

Are we different? Have we changed since then?

Dont we still have conquests and flex our muscles?

The truth is, there us a way evolved that serves the masses better, and that is our way, and it serves the ruling elite even more. I think that may never change. I've read if it, ive lived it, ive watched it verily from within. It's a lifestyle to admire and hate.

To serve one must be well in health and mind, and that is best served through maintenance if health through thevgnest foods, moderate regular exercise, and best health care.

It seems there is always a disportionatevamoubt f any population that suffers...suffers being the keyword.

We must facilitate a lack of suffering is less suffering as best possible, as more suffering only costs a larger amount of projected progress and the goal is to build better and better societies if more broadly better-learned people that may one day all prosper.

Have we nearly reached the ultimate goal?

Have we built a machine to provide us all and for us to be blessed yet? Work hard we must, for health, and still a physical demise and ending in time, but only to graduate to that next realm.

Here we refine thought through indelible experience and concrete reality, like school, or in that next realm, there will be only a presence of everyone. What we have there is inky what we agree too and nothing is physical. It manifests of only agreement, or it can not be.

See you there, in presence, you'll know...trust me.

Better think until then how your goods and money and greed and sin will not work there.

You'll be by the King of Kings, yet the Holy Ghost will know your presence perfectly, and still His surrounding you you'll doubt. Do you get it yet now?

Maybe when in Rome, stop doing as the Romans do.

Do as you would if you knew always God would bear witness of you, watching over you always.

Will you deny your lessons to your maker when that time comes to pass? Perfect memory and all knowledge each, the truth will be known to all.

Until then, serve Rome, and Rome Always Serve the Exalted God.

Getting Older & Moving Possessions Along

I'm nearly 52, and at Dad's house, belongings I couldvoavk into my truck and haul home still abound. I don't want to make a full exit, and in sure Dad, as mom didn't want me to either, so hmmm, odd but interesting things of my past to comfort me and keep my room comfortable. The space comfortable. We, an aging family fast, want a home that represents love and a happy nest, and no need for a full retreat anyhow, yet still, at my own age, possessions must be now quickly shed. I know now how ive done what I use to easily do. I don't have the same desires. I already know the easier way coming, and ive fought against it hardcore, even though many would think not perhaps. I've been a warrior against disease that will have me eventually, but never today, and thus far I have survived over odds for many days, it will only win one, again, eventually, not today.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I have a lot in Pittsburgh.

What's the cheapest quickest way to excavate a driveway up from the street and onto the property so I can dump some crush and run gravel?

Maybe place an ad on Facebook & craigslist and try to contract it out?

Anybody know anyone interested possibly or that is themselves personally qualified, inbox me!

I'd probably be even more inclined to sell/trade the lot too if anyone wants a lot in the Spring Hill subdivision and right close to the stadiums downtown and the casinos. It's not much, but it will make a cool camp to park and overnight once a driveway is cut and electric and water hookups are added. Perfect to pull a camper or dock the RV at!

I've got to simplify and make useful all in my life, or give/do away with where it serves the best interests and therefore I'm flexible. It's next to at johns Lutheran church's cemetery, and I may approach them about possibly buying the property, or bequeathing it to them after I use it with a driveway as outlined, essentially, to enjoy tone in Pittsburgh without making a more permanent commitment, like the house that was once next door to the property that I own... now demolished and gone, I'd some it and kept only the land last time health kicked my ass and took everything.

So, generally speaking... I'm open-minded to ideas that either simplify life and/or make use of my possessions or otherwise I must depart with many things soon.

Hmmmmmmmm

If you read all that and your me... what would you do? I enjoy the idea that I can skip from Cumberland west to Pittsburg @125 miles, or east to Baltimore at 125 or southeast to Alexandria (DC) @150 miles and be able to comfortably nest a couple of days. That's been the dream anyway, but no connection to Baltimore any longer.

I want to explore and enjoy the arts while I skip from city to city, from my home city cradled in the mountains that are Cumberland, while learning more about what works and what doesn't concerning populations of people.

I cannot help but be fascinated but still want to be able to hero my distance, like an animal that has from people, I must be able to escape to the primal reality that is the woods so I can commune in spirit, or I feel disconnected to my higher power. The mountains speak volumes loud and clear to me, the cities too often tragic tales and terribly difficult lessons. It simply challenges of humanity concentrated at high numbers and more easily able to observe that which is fruitful and not and how do we next go about remedying these concerns, or not.

Something of each one of these cities and its people that I find deeply charmed by, and at ease too. I grew up in Alexandria, visiting DC in my youth often, and I've visited Baltimore since youth too, and once had a contract to purchase a home there, ...and Pittsburgh was the return to my birth state but otherwise really a personal adventure of my own completely, attracted by the professional team's, the arts, the entertainment, and the casinos together, and the rest of the growing spirit if the city. I dream of watching the steelers one year in the future. I was in Alexandria when our beloved skins one several super bowls, and I've been close to Baltimore, but I want to live a single season in Pittsburgh and watch a super bowl...because what even better perspective could there be to write about? I'm waiting for the next alignment in Pittsburgh, and my health and those things are happening now.

So now, what would you do?

It's just really hard to give up on my dreams.

...and in all these travels, music and musicians always surround me, celebrating and sharing life and helping another maintain balance through difficult times.

The Look I Realized Was Fear of Death, On Turn, Fear of Life

The fear in everyones' eyes is so obvious, once the fear has departed from within your own soul permanently first, as now you realize with clarity what you saw within everybody else eyes before that puzzled you so. Life from this new perspective is fresh and revealing instead of scary as before; as now I'm certain of the realm that awaits, and the beautiful and perfect journey that will lead me Back Again to His. Kingdom, no matter how difficult the journey. In life i'll fear, but fear death any longer, i'll not ever again.

Remembering and Building Faith Shared with Me Freely, Together We Survive, May Peace Reign Forevermore

So... yesterday while visiting Alexandria, Virginia, I went to vidit a friend at his home. I was certain it was behind Carl Sandburg Intermediate (old Fort Hint High School). I got back to Ramparts and stopped. I knew, only just now, that my memory was completely incorrect. I'd only been there once before, but it wasn't here... it was somewhere erroly close.

I suffered a heart attack / stroke (and far more multiple applications) last Aug 12, 2018 and this in apparently one of my black hole memories, as I call them (very few and very light).

I was certain I was correct 100%, as I'd already informed my father, whom I'm visiting, where he resided.

Fortunately, ..."Google"...and i had a proper address, an AHAaaaaa moment, and i was personally refreshed...however, i definitely distinctly remembered this... WRONG :(...not terribly wiring though...parts we're right or close, and do somehow, neurologically overlap.

It's also, I'll mention, a completely different feeling than... "you know what's his name...oh, from school days, oh um"... well, it's not like that. It's a for certain with either an unexpected blank at the end or just completely wrong as in this case (worst yet, of very small handful)...as weird as it is/was, it's insignificant overall, however, it shows a percentage of damage which is an offense... sometimes i have a new deja vous like feeling too, but it's hard to describe too. A few new strange peculiarities. I'm like myself,with a few surprises from time to time.

I use to be great with names years ago, less so more recently, but i think I'm getting better there again... still not great though.

Other memory has new dead ends where momeort just quits (as normal) and then sometimes its like I'm looking into a file for the rest. It's like it's all my memory, then the rest was added. That's a bizarre feeling!

Our minds are incredibly powerful, and I'm so very thankful i did not suffer catastrophic damages under the extreme circumstances i suffered.

Beyond incredible professional medical help, I attribute this success to aspirin and faith.

Chew one large aspirin in a heart / stroke event... if you do not have a history of stomach stomach, bleeding ulcers.

I had a stroke, heart attack, asthma, lactic acidosis, viral sepsis, CPR & fell down the steps and dislocated two vertebrae (still)...the doctors we're certain if broken my neck indeed.

I'm in shock daily, truly, still, that not only I survived, but that I'm able bodies and even in less pain then beforehand, but differently too. I've not been advised as to what i can and can not do. As far as my heart goes, i can fi whatever i want! Just hit that all clear, but my neurologist is sending me to another neurologist (my 4th or 5th in life) for nerve testing, as i have nerve damage Fri. my neck injury, but also carpal tunnel in both hands.

Oh, well...life is about the adventure. For now, i have yo spiritually be one larger than my pain. I must move like the wind with god's grace and thankfulness.

Yesterday, i cried on a good part of my trip through the mountains, and down and southward to our nations capital, where I was raised.

The growing thankfulness for my upbringing, my life, my friends of yesteryear and today, all growing immensely, as i journey into a spacetime, i had already moved forward towards in death once, and returned from that definite brink.

As part of my mind mends or has missing memory, other memory, new, is just hard to even describe or tell others about, as it's experience from a realm not physical and it sounds insane, except that it's all in perfect alignment with others who have NDE's (near death experience)...abd u wasn't near death. I stopped breathing and had no pulse a while before I returned. I'm unsure of those specifics, but I'm going to ask, soon. I'm not ready for other details quite yet. What i remember is insanely traumatic, and most don't believe I remember what I do and can. Most never get to make the phone call i made to get help. Of just my heart condition alone, Takotsubto Syndrime, 6% survive what I survived... that's not including all the other things I suffered.

My team of miraculous healers performed what I feel is without a doubt a pure multitude if miracles, as though they brought Light back from over the edge of the event horizon of a black hole.

Fred Zevin, all data was not fully lost... but close... so very, very close.

I'm thankful we are only offered that which God is confident we can handle.

I'm looking forward to soaring again, and soon! This is everything I've ever lived for, everything!

Thank each of you for being part of the blessings in my life. Even those of you who don't believe in prayers and blessings, you too have blessed me! What's that make you?

I've only got ahold of life because others re-used to give up on me! Why do we give up on too many others??? Why??? Others want to live too, and we turn our backs to them all too often...lets help lift others up past life challenges and past the point of giving up on the self and let's restore the inner personal value to life we should all hold and carry for another.

Sadly, today we can look around and read about or watch the consequences of instilling a poor value for life upon a generation, as seemingly, we have mistakently burdened a generation or more as such, as we must unite now to overcome our shortcomings and heal together.

No more purposeful division, because we all must be very determined within that we came thus far to heal and also because we are firgesd now tougher than ever, a part of each our inherent destiny, to prove that life has a deep and meaningful value that all should be able to cherish, protect, and in the pursuit if happiness, should always be able to pursue through their dreams to their heart's content.

Thanks each of you for blessing me. Blessings and prayers are the gifts and manifestations I receive from the outpouring of love from the actions and sharing of others... and even through a selfish storm, I've been blessed more deeply than known possible to me previously, except that I do believe in Faith and I KNOW what Faith can do if it's even just Faith in minute an amount as a mustard seed.

In death, mountains moved for me to survive, and upon my return, Faith in humanity once lost, was forever in an instant restored. I've been baptized in water of peace now, at last, and so may it Reign, for ALL, forevermore.

Kratomism ~ New Religion ~ Basic Introduction to Idea

Kratomism

The worship of plants and the use of plants for health, well being and all other facets they so offer.

For the pain different, the elders, the weak, etc...Kratom is a life changing gift we cherish and are thankful for to our Higher Power.

We, as a group, are not organized nor does those funds, however, we do congregate and treat condition with plant and phant extracts as part of our protected religious rights.

Many of us are herbalists, practice multiple different varying other complimentary religions and ate a wide and vast array of the population. We include all and exclude nobody, we have no membership but your declaration, which includes a self commitment to personal due diligence, education and application of lessons in life, and sharing wholeheartedly and free, these lessons. We understand that services alone are not free, however we minister help where suffering awaits our arrival with keen mind and desire.

We pray to free the soul of the bonage of addictive chemicals, and we look to our natural and organic toolbox first, however reflecting all tools available, and professionals that are complainentary in philosiphy too, we seek to understand all tools at hand and their proper possible application(s).

We promise to never tamper or contaminated any source and with respect to nature itself, we practice this good stewardship in all of our motions through life.

We live the Christian, the Jew, the Muslim, the Aetheist, the Agnostic, etc and we understand with deep devotion that denomibation only divides.

We seek to heal and cleanse the vessel (body) and the spirit to offer the mind the clearest view.

Today, we are like the most powerful telescopes, but obstructed because when our vision is blurred, we are controllable and predictable, both...both, highly valuable to those with the ability to exploit those attributes.

Kratom is our blessed plant of source that treats our disease of addiction in the most kindest way known, but only as it is a leaf.

Once extracted and concentrated (MG&H7MG) then we will have an evolution and historic problem mirroring the history of cocaine!

Respect is undersyandibg how the indigenous have used this powerful compound(s) related to gardenia and coffee and that works on the opiod receptors,  for thousands of years!

To otherwise regime what they have already evolved as a simple practice, is foolish. Much would be gained, however far more likely lost. A new powerful analog could be synthesized however that would absolutely end the opiod crisis without a doubt. Ask me how I know how!

There will be great movement by the $$$ from big pharma and lobbying groups to outlaw this plant, here in the USA, and this push will only continue and increase in it's assault on healing.

No healthy person has ever overdosed on clean, tested from source, properly fosed kratom! NOBODY ever!

Those that have died have been either ill, used too much (almost impossible in natural state) or used contaminated sources of leaf or combined this with other drugs, mixing a deadly cocktail...still, very hard to do.

There is plenty at my blog to read and plenty available online, so DO NOT let the mainstream media tell you nobody knows about this trees leaves. That's complete and utter hogwash and scare tactics.

Kratomism is here, and we Kratomists insists that we be always allowed to utilize this powerful herb in it's natural form in order to practice our methods of faith and devotion in healing, and I pray others respect this natural birth right.

We believe this of all plants and use them medicinally, however not necessarily solely individually.

We find statistically that the body better knows how to metabolize and excrete organic molecules as opposed to synthesized molecules or compounds, and therefore when we use plants, there is a much less likely statistical likelihood for autoimmune responses.

I will expound on some of these statements and further organized as life progresses and make a very presentable rational logical decision why you should think about practicing this religion alongside your religion. Compliments every single religion in the idea is to promote life and to keep your body and spirit and mind clean and healing quick and as efficient as possible with the least likelihood to have long-term problems ahead because of what you did today and even more so to promise that you are living a life of preventative maintenance and care with your actions in thought and concern about what you consume and even how it is packaged it harvested so much so that in every motion of your life you are truly paying your homage to life itself in the gift that it is while trying to hold on to it as healthfully as possible.

The basic tenets is to promote healthful life. Promote life, all else is a lie. Understand that denominations divide.

Do your due diligence.

Together, we survive to thrive.