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Saturday, March 7, 2015

Walking With Giants ~ A Short Story ~ MobiusTripz

It was a great day.

I sold beer, lots of IPA's, water, lemonade, and tons of pounds of ice on this hot day at the music festival...and this was for four hours with new friends as the music echoed off of the mountain just behind me fro the stage that lay just in front.

My shift was over and it was my turn to partake in the same that I had just finished delivering as I walked the fairgrounds and took the entire experience in with my light headed buzz and jovial attitude...walking around and meeting as many people as I could and talking up a storm looking for that next adventure...Mom had just passed away and we had yet to bury her...I was looking to heal and music was the order of the day alongside new found friends now family.

I found some "giants"...these three very tall men at more then six feet each in height and they were finishing their day of sales and told me to come back after they broke down the vendor area they had...they said they liked me and offered me a future brew upon my return, and so I offered my help denied at this instant and promised my return so soon...and hour.

Within this hour I met a photographer who took my picture a million times as I stood speaking to some famous man I had no idea who he was...we were just having a great moment ourselves talking about art and music and little did I care who he was until that camera came a stole our peace and solitude..but it did not matte really...we were all in a good place and doing what we each do...enjoying the time as we each do...differently from one another but sharing the moments together that unfold and make life's experience worthwhile...beautiful really. I still wonder who he was.

He split to go to the musical venue that was inside as there were stages both inside and I spoke instead to the photographer...all about taking pictures...the art of it all...the love we both shared too for this art...he kept saying how famous that guy was...and I kept saying wow man totally idolize him, but we were sharing a good time before you came taking pictures where I never then got to say goodbye...he understood and apologized. He asked if I knew who it was and I said I really do not care man...I am here to heal. What? Heal has been a tough journey lately and I am not interested in the plastic of life anymore...I seek substance. The IPA was heavy and so was my language...we tried to make it into the event as I put on my staff shirt and said he would document everything...he did have a killer camera after all and all the great to go with it. Just like in a movie I was not on "the list" and my "event staff" shirt was the wrong color.

Time to move on...I went behind the vendor booth I worked to a picnic table to sip and listen to the music as the sun slipped away and the night sky blackened. The music was mesmerizing and I watched one lady near by just dance and act as though she did not have a care in the world. Her boyfriend was like me, just alone at a table next to me...watching. We all finally shared kind words and I asked her...excuse me Mam, but what are you on?...Are you a cop...I laughed at her question? Well if I was I guess I would have to tell you, and no I am not. May I have some now please? The rest of the night unfolded after I danced with her, this beautiful soul. Man she was smart, I mean brilliant smart, but so very eccentric most would think she was a lunatic...I told her how cool I thought she was and and that she was my kind of woman, my kind of person...just cool and fun to chill with and talk too. Then I told her I hated that I had to arrest her...ha ha just kidding. We laughed and I told her I had to split as the adventure must move forward and I had friends to meet around the corner. We agreed if we never saw one another again to know we really shared mutual love for one another and to always remember that. I sure do, and I am certain she does was just perfect like that.

So I went and found the "giants". I really liked these guys and they did me was a neat and quick friendship. I was handed several beers and then was invited on a walk about...of course I said hell yeah lets go !!! That was my entire point of all of this...the adventure I chimed in.

I told my new found friends, before we left, that they could call me their dwarf, because you could already see the hilarious looks when I was standing with them, as I am only 5'7". They laughed a genuine laugh as we talked about other topics. We were all from the same original area and had a lot in common to bond with so it was easy to be friends with these guys. I told them how it had been a very tough few months with Mom terminally ill and now passed and that I did not want to dwell on it or speak about it other then that this was my time for me to heal and reset. I needed this break...tears rolled right down my face anyway...hard to not cry when you have loved and then lost. They were such great guys...I hope to see them again someday...maybe this year ???

As we now started our walk about, my main giant reached a hand back and offered me something as he asked if I knew whet these were...I said hell yeah !!! He said be careful and to only consume a little now and save some for later. I assured him I knew what I was doing and swallowed the entire handful...a lot !

As it was dark we sought women, music, and campfires. We came upon one place and drank beers and listened to tunes. Then we went to another place...nearby but it seemed so different and so far away at the same token.

There was a fire and a couch that was round and all these beautiful women sitting in a circle as we sat around the outside of that circle in the grass. I laughed and said, wow, I am in heaven !!! They laughed. I proceeded to explain that on this night, whatever I thought of came to me in minutes, and this was actually indeed the truth, but I told it in a comical way.

I told them I was here with the giants as they would protect me from myself and others as I journeyed into this night looking for...well you all !!! I said check this out...I can prove it. I worked four hours before my night began and I had no cash on me at all anymore, as the little bit I did have I spent on dinner and several beers. I said since then when I had a thought of something I desired, it just appeared. So, not having a beer, I said like watch this...I need a beer, and placed my hand out...within seconds I had several. I told one girl that she was gorgeous as this other dude was trying to get closer to her...not in a bad way but in a ind and caring way. You could see it in their eyes and it was beautiful. I had been silent a while but asked them if I could speak...address them all. I told them about 12 of us what I observed. I told her she was like Eve in the garden and I felt like we were all in the garden of Eden but that this dude was her Adam. I said she looked like a beautiful heavenly angel too. She was perfect in every respect and she adored these kind words and looked flattered. I explained life is short and what my recent life had been like and all the tragedies that I had experienced recently. I told them I am a young 47, but them being in their 20's and 30's , I explained death was a thief and to make the best of today. Love one another and harbour no ill will. I cried as I told them how beautiful they each were and how much I appreciated being amongst them in this perfect moment, the only reality...this very perfect moment right now. I told them I strive to find these perfect moments and that when I know I am residing within one I can feel it. I asked if they to could feel it, and they all agreed that they could and that it was indeed a very perfect moment. Sometimes in life we get these times that are so perfect you know you will never forget them...more importantly you will never forget how they feel. I told them, these new friends but strangers before, that I loved them and hoped that the future would always bring great promise to them. We talked of other things and I began to feel a little ill, as my heart has arrhythmia and acts up, so I returned to the silent listener.

After this time around the imaginary round couch with maidens but by the very real fire and friendship, I wandered to another place with my beers and bros. All of a sudden people were all over the place. Fast paced, hurriedly scurrying about and setting up chairs in the wooded we were going to a concert in the woods. There were folks, beers, and a dude had a guitar. There were cameras all over the place...not single shot cameras but cameras to film the event.

He asked me if I wanted to play and somehow knew I liked to play my own version of Hendrix's Hey Joe..I said sure and reached for the guitar he was holding but then he said not yet my friend.

I was wondering what was was quite surreal. I sat in a chair with others around me I was talking to and I was feeling much better after my heart calmed down. My heart does this from time to is my new normal and matters not what I am doing. I had my pick in hand from just a few moments earlier and kept ahold of it while sipping my brew and chit chatting with others as he played. He came over again and asked me to play but teased me with the guitar as I reached for it...pulling it away again. I had already felt like I was surrounded by actors and actresses.

He played a few songs and I openly laughed very loud at his renditions and said he was terrible. I purposefully was sabotaging anything good that might happen because if I am going to be on any stage it will be the stage I created and no other mans.

People looked at me like I was an asshole, and I told them I was. I still held the pick alongside my reservations about if I even would play if he so offered. The cameras were rolling, people were still gathering, he was still playing and saying there was going to be a guest appearance. It was getting weirder and weirder by the minute...fuck man it could have just been the mushrooms.

Some new folks sat close by and engaged in conversation with me like they knew me. I said a few words and told them that they were all just terrible actors and actresses...again rather loudly while there was singing and this guy playing guitar. It definitely threw things off  in the musical department with all of them.

He came over again with this beautiful guitar and even though I saw him from the corner of my eye, I did not want to turn to address him. I let him approach as he thought I could not see him. He then asked if I wanted to play now, for a third time, and I reached for the guitar, smiled real big, and said no, as I put my outstretched hands down and mumbled a few choice words and then laughed...or something like that. I am not trying to pull a Brian was just a bit of a blur as these folks were fucking with my mojo...I was there to this beloved event...not there to be made an ass of in someone else's production...who the fukk were these people and how did they know where i was and who I was...was I anyone to any of them ???

Thinking back...fukk...that was  huge I imagining this so vivid...fukk no !!! ...but this sure was strange...well yeah I do write a lot and I do play music and record it. Did I just sabotage my one and only chance in so many times before? ..well...only because I am no fukkin puppet for anyone...anyone can take their cash and shove it up their arse if they think they are ever going to prop me up like a billboard to generate money for them on my talents alone. I will not let the business destroy the purity of the art, the experience, the reality of life I adore...ever !!! How did he know what song I like to play???or that I had my own version of it? My mind was spinning, but just spinning in a normal way like if this was happening to you too ! The people all quickly cleared away and it was desolate as I pondered all this weirdness. I was virtually alone. I stood up after a while...I had enjoyed that it was quiet once again...that was part of the peace and tranquility I was seeking. As I stood up to walk and venture further, oblivious to the time of night now morning, all of a sudden again a flurry of activity all around me (3 a.m.) and people are walking around all over like we are on the streets of new York city on a bust business day ! WTF !!! I asked these folks at a tent what the hell is happening with so many people walking around out here in the woods by the campsites? The y said it was normal. I said oh you have been here two nights and like you would know what the fukk normal is !!! These folks split too one by one...I stood there...again not feeling too fukkin heart. I could feel the ashen paleness as my heart slowed. This young woman claimed I was freaking her out just standing there. I told her I was harmless and that I was freaking myself out too and asked for a water...please. I explained that I would be on my way but that I just did not feel very well and explained my heart was fluttering. She said she would call event staff...I laughed and said they were already here...keep in mind it was just us now.
She said what the fukk are you talking about are you nuts? I said well yeah I am nuts, but here look at my shirt, as I lifted my thin jacket to reveal my event staff shirt. She was shocked. I assured her again that I would leave in a few minutes and asked again if I may have some water...please now !...other wise I may be dead and hanging out longer then she would like. She got me a water. I said thanks very much and promised her that I would be gone within 5 minutes once i felt a little better ad thanked her with true and genuine appreciation. She finally was at ease.

It was that time to depart and I walked down the trail back towards where I had come from so many hours ago. There were tents and campfires all over as far as I could see in those woos.Tightly packed and just glowing through the morning fog. It looked like a civil war encampment. I walked a little further and was back at the main parking lots within the fairgrounds and then saw the sun coming up. I saw one of my giant friends and just waved and smiled...dragging along. He looked like a mirror image doing the same. I could tell he had a great night too.

I did have a great night. There were many wonderful things about that night that have stuck with me. More importantly then anything were my new friends and a sense of real healing.

My heart is a mother fucker but that's life. I dragged myself outside of the fairgrounds and up the road a mile to my car. I rested a good while with the car running and the heat on and some light music playing. Finally I awoke from my rest and went home and rested a good long while like I always do if my heart acts up, as it is just draining.

That day and night combined unfolded like many chapters in a great book. One day I will highlight more of those details, like listening to the Great Spaghetti Incident, for example.

Mom had passed away after watching by her side a terrible and tragic heart and gut wrenching demise.

I needed time to heal and this was the exact event that was ordered for the times. I needed to escape exactly as I had and the healing did indeed happen.

Sometimes it takes a few loving and caring people to take you on a journey, discover new friendship and reestablish trust in other s and in turn yourself, and reconnect with normalcy through others.

No harm, no foul. A natural journey of self exploration and expression down a path to healing.

Was this trip even real?...or was I just napping back at the picnic table after a few hours of work at the festival?

Had I confronted my own fears of self sabotage? Do I lift some folks with love and laughter so shared as my normal healthy self and creep some folks out as I over indulge in alcohol at times of poor decisions? Do I drag along because I am so worn out from my adventures, fitting enough in nine hours of marathon partying that it was like several nights had passed? Did I find the healing I had sought to start with?

I did find that healing indeed. It was a time for me to reflect and accept in new surroundings and appreciate all that was and all that will come to be. It was my rebirth exactly as I had envisioned it, but not in such great detail as this.

The time as it passed was anything but a blur. It was vivid with lessons and most importantly, wonderful caring beautiful people that shared so much with me on a deep personal level.

If the world was full of more folks like I met that evening and morning, there is no doubt we would have much more healing and much less hurt. We would have a plethora of love and little if any hate. We would have caring and compassion to replace selfishness. We would have words of substance and weight instead of empty promises. We would all have giants protecting us all the time, we would have a place of easy rest and laughter by a fire surrounded by beautiful people in perfect moments that you really do want to last forever.

Thanks for helping me heal.

Of course I still miss my Mother dearly, however the pain that I carried there that day evaporated into that morning fog, as Mother would insist it should have, and the metamorphosis had happened once again...the healing and the constant change as we grow and evolve.

You are all my giants.