I'm starting to feel a new peace within, in little glimpses, and it's an assurance that my heart is strong as can be and healing. It held on for a couple plus decades in a poor state of affairs and in short order, it's refiring on all cylinders. Unless you have been here, as too many before me and more without a doubt shall journey, well you just cannot imagine what it's like to breathe in youth again and see ashen dry aging fast skin rejuvenating and feeling alive and less pain once again... I felt like I was in a lactic acid bath for over 20 years... I'm tired as hell because I've been fighting so long. I don't have to fight anymore ... for the life or life at all. The inevitable comes to arrive for all, but rest I must... to regain youth and outpace "it" once again. I'm elusively alive.
On August 12th. I had to drop dead heart attack. I had CPR and was revived. I had been completely dead. Three days later I was fitted with a pacemaker defibrillator unit and within five days I went home. I had this heart attack at the top of my wooden staircase. Thus why you'll read the rest about my neck.
I have spinal stenosis throughout my whole spine, spondylitis, spondylosis and slipped discs in all three regions and it was already recommended that I have fusion for the cervical area of my neck. I also have cervical ribs which is extraordinarily rare. I'm probably forgetting something like the broken lumbar vertebrae years ago down another flight of steps.
This seems to be a repeating theme with my problems in life. I've either fallen down stair cases with wet feet and/or have had multiple heart attacks before this last one which killed me,... all the while what I truly had which was undiagnosed is takotsubo syndrome... As it's tricky to diagnose and often goes unrecognized, with the most common first symptom for most being death.
So down the steps I went...
Now, they thought I broke my neck too... which I think I did but then partially relocated in screaming agony as my last memories of my last life!
My C5 or C6 is basically now still partially dislocated. I took my brace off in 5 days and it was supposed to remain for 90, but I know me...not anyone else. I'm in less pain and on zero pain meds except Tylenol every few days... because of only Faith, trust me.
I'm an anomaly I think nobody can ever believe.
I'm persistent and determined and soon I'm taking back the full 24 hours to demand them each myself once again so I can control my own destiny and not be the continued burden I'm no doubt apparently to so many.
This journey is so extremely valuable and so very important, but not if we do not change within and evolve together.
We are a pathetic excuse for useful lives the way do many of us over indulge the self, as I've been a ludicrous example of, knowing how short this blink of the eye life can shut permanently.
I never hated life, in fact, each day is a celebration of it... sometimes awashed in pain and other times awashed in the showering life light.
Remember, there is definitely no life after death for you if your personal faith describes this belief.
So, what of your Faith?
My God is so mighty, this all flexible and all accommodating presence, and nothing else.
You'll know this presence when it's time arrives, but upon with human eyes, you'll never gaze.
Be Faith, consume faith, live faith. Walk in faith, walk again in faith.
Pain is your reminder that your alive so get motivated into that next comfortable safe place away from this pain you know to well.
You're never alone, never forsaken. Never believe in lies ! Only humans tell these untruths, no matter intentions often unknown. Faith is far larger than life.
Walk In Faith
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