Pacemaker on left. 6.5 months post op, post death. Stamina staring to return but that's the struggle. Slow, methodical, reasonable and rational steps... things that they actually the exact same thing that disappears when you are suffering from ill-health and a lack of oxygen !
Building tolerance and faith and jettisoning all garbage from the past. flying lessons at long last because I finally can... not because I never wanted to.
Soon perhaps I will be self-reliant, because I was only left to my own devices beyond my Father's and my father's assistance.
Often when we are ill we internalized and we take things personal and we think nobody was there for me but often we must realize that most all of us are suffering and in the very difficult positions in life right now also.
if I have lashed out and it's been pretty regular and pretty often pretty much like a snake off and on for a while, I've just been fighting and very frustrated while I've been searching so hard for answers and felt like I was on this island and nobody would listen nobody could understand nobody would talk to me and if they would I would just go a billion miles per hour and run them away and I still do.
I'm calling but I have felt like a tuning fork that was ringing out of control and it's just nice to finally know some peace once again.
I'm thankful God didn't give up on me and I'm thankful I didn't give up on that which I know resides within.
I'm saying you let angels have proven themselves real to me by showing up as First responders to my house to save my life or being the janitors that keep the big machine running at the Western Maryland Health System or the nurses that administer a lot more than just a simple greeting and checking their patience. Their attitude brings an attitude of healing into shattered lives and without it help is quickly vanquished.
I live on a tropical island in the Appalachian mountains and I quite like my peace and solitude where I am, but that is all about to change.
Nothing is going to change but everything will not change.
Now, next, I will write this ship and run it through many more storms so that I can become a wholesome vessel once again and have the physical ability to finally follow through where there has always been the dream for that pursuit of happiness as well as the drive within to give back.
I sit at this cusp today with a great many doors opening before me that are exciting and I'm going to start walking through them soon. I'm going to finally get to realize the life that I've not been able to Chase, or that got interrupted I should say.
I'm going to get stronger and healthier and I am determined above and beyond absolutely anything that if this body can draw breath I'm going to make it get a work out one way or another so that this physical being can then manifest the dreams of the imagination that myself and others share together.
I've been made this offer that both scares me and exhilarates me and it's the direction I know I must soon go and it's very close to my home so nothing changes, but everything changes and it's the everything that life has called me to through everything that has happened up until this point.
If it's not destiny I just wouldn't believe it but then at the same time I've learned to no longer expect things because this world is a place that is guaranteed to let you down and when you build up expectations in any way shape or form then you're only speeding up the process.
Success through and over chaos is most certainly a plan one must be prepared for. What are you not prepared for today that you know you should be?
Waste not your time on social media and waste not your time pointing a finger in slinging vile words with the snake's tongue but rather prepare yourself and your family.
If you think these things hogwash, God bless you. It's beautiful to not have such threats in your mind and it is wonderful to either know that you are prepared and need not worry, or that you need not worry because you just can't fathom what on Earth any of this is all about.
In this world and in this life the more I articulate the truth, the fewer friends I have and it seems like the less I have that others would desire.
I truly think sometimes I'm just not of this place. But this place I so love.
Add pic from Facebook.
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