Scratch Near-Death Experience Off of The Bucket List, and...

Well I'm very pleased to say I can scratch Near-Death Experience off the bucket list. Well s*** I wasn't even like near-death, I died. Along with CPR. A heart attack. A stroke. Falling down the staircase (again...oh wait, that wasnt on my bucket list anymore... been there and done that expert level)...let's see,...
being defibrillated. Being resuscitated. Slamming my neck into the floor three times as hard as I can being the last memories of my first wife. Oh, and you can forget being revived. Still no damn helicopter. Too bad I wasnt further from the hospital... oh, never mind. Lol

I remember dr.lam incorrectly diagnosing my "nutcracker of the esophagus" oh please give me a break I thought let me just get home and f****** die... hahaha and saying I was pretty intense. Maybe he'll get it now. It wasn't his fault, the EKG didn't show any signs of takotsubo then.

I think it'd be 240 beats per minute for 14 hours. No reason for a pacemaker there right? He needs a defibrillator right. Let's just let it keep running on Full Throttle.

Way back when when that happened maybe eight or ten years ago, they woke me up the next morning to go for a jog on the treadmill and I said are you out of your f****** ever-loving mind? Are you trying to f****** kill me? I tore that treadmill up... I ran on that thing hardcore and they cranked it all the way up and I kept a-rollin because it was a good day...

It amazes me how many doctors just would not believe that I had good days and I had bad days. It's amazing to me that f**** Social Security they don't believe that I have good days and bad days. They even denied me after I've been dead !!! What a farse !!! I don't have time to be better but I do have time to make change and be heard and be known. I'm also not a quitter so they're not just going to give you Social Security Disability unless you qualify but if you walk in there and appear to be okay they don't give a s*** what your records look like. I'm that guy. I refuse to quit. I am nothing compared to my father and I haven't even began life yet nor have I ever feel like I have been truly challenged when I compare myself to the great example he has always been, and I don't mind having that drive behind me. It has kept me full of Hope for life even in the most dire of circumstances and it is made me challenge myself to push myself far past above and beyond anything I could ever have been if left to my own pitiful devices. So I said I really tore up the treadmill and what I mean is like I was pretty old at that age but I ran on that thing like I was in my teens or twenties and I think the doctors just can't understand all of this stuff but that's the interment into issue of takotsubo syndrome and I'm going to keep pounding away about this until this little-known and rare disease is out there for everybody to know about until we all hear it from The Mountaintop so that other people don't get left behind.

and there's guys thought I was all full of s*** oh, but they knew that the night before I was almost gone. That was a piece of cake compared to what I went through above that remove so many wonderful items for my bucket list from hell.

Two different occasions I wore Holter monitors for either 48 or 72 hours maybe even up to 5 days I don't recall it's been a long time ago but never was any event caught them either. Again, doctor lamb is a wonderful man and in good faith treated me to the finest and best of his ability into the funnest in the best ability that science had to offer due to the evidence that was able to be examined under the circumstances. That goes for all of this medical professionals at that time. My point here is again, how do we see a head of what's really happening when we don't understand?

If I don't share experience in the hope of helping others and in the hope of seeking Solutions, then what is the point of it?

I'm joking and I'm serious all at the same time because there's not one single lie in here and I'm using a little comic relief but my point is don't ever give up Faith in the medical professionals that surround you and your community and don't ever give up Faith in yourself or the ability for the body to heal.

Anyways...

...and I thought when my best friends from high school came into town that I hadn't seen for 30 years that was a hell of a night... holy crap!!!

So there's a little sarcasm in a little humor in a little reality all mixed up but this is really part of a therapeutic exercise in expression of an experience that is most certainly miraculous and most certainly also mind blowing to a multitude of people, because I saw their eyes.

Near Death Experience / I Experienced Death ~ Part X

I feel like I've gone to outer space and back. Mars will be cake !!! I'll be an astronaut too next!!! But first I'm headed down this path soon to heal and share so we can all find healing faster as opposed to later.

I always thought it would be great to be Lewis and Clark, and now I'm I.  Early and virtually u charted territory, more are experiencing each and every day.

I wasn't personally near dead, I died.

I think the name is a mis-nomer, but I'm happy to complain ;) ...laughter heals... enjoy the glorious ride. Be good nd kind to another. Why complicate it??? What there was there is nothing that came from here except the you within.

Well,... I'm alive and I am full of Hope and  Vigor today that I've not known for so long I can't even tell you... maybe two decades.

Blessed beyond words, truly.

Miraculous adventure still underway... I feel like I've always loved all my friends and family and now never more than ever.

I never felt more blessed then to know for a fact how blessed I truly have been. I've met some of my very own angels... I need to meet all of the rest of the real life ones because that's part of healing and I'll probably mumbled involve my eyes out like a little child and completely lose my composure, yet once again... dot-dot-dot ... this cycle.

I'm listening to Blue October right now and it's into the oceans. It's perfect for right now, thank you YouTube premium, and it's unbelievable the spark of memory that goes off when I think about this so very beautiful book called Tuesdays with Morrie.

God above I don't want this journey to ever end.

I don't want to know any more missing in any more hurt in any more pain like I have and that long last I know finally that soon we will all be together and just in a completely different way and they're truly will be a perfect and beautiful peace...

Faith says that you must have belief without any further proof than just that which exists within yourself that you believe in. You don't have to believe me. Believe in yourself. You already know what the god of your own understanding is and that's the only God there is for everybody.

We must get over this ridiculousness in religion, where everybody wants to hurt one another because of division lines. All principled regions are perfectly beautiful, it is people that are flawed. We are also flawed together as cultures and Society in interwoven beautiful people that live amongst another and we must start solving our problems well past our innate differences and our petty self-imposed systemic limitations that are placed upon us by those in greater power that choose to abuse so many that she used to do the next right thing, which is truly the majority.

Some people call that preaching but I call that my experience, my witness, my testimony. To preach would be to utter and spew to you something I know nothing about through any of those three means above for any other way. We have many of those spitting spewing filth all around us, you make all those that spread the ill will what you will but we need not listen or pay them attention anymore and we should shun those that act in this way, until they turn in an about-face in come together with us in the proper direction.

I am so absolutely imperfect and perfectly human just like each and every single one of you, none of ask you any more degree or less than the other, Julie. We are each flawed in significant ways oh, and there is truly salvation for all.

Does that mean the future is already determined and that today doesn't matter and that we should just throw caution to the wind and trees all around us terribly and do what every once in total Anarchy? No, because that is not what we as spirited vessels have found works best on this plane of existence where we currently reside while soaring through space-time spinning around on an orbiting Earth through the Galaxy that spins counter-clockwise through space Haim within the greater context of the massive and ever-expanding universe.

What a long strange trip it's been. !!! Gosh, I never thought that would be an understatement.

Exercise free will always with respect towards all life that surrounds you and be a good steward.

I'm so thankful I get to hang out for a little while longer. Part 2 should be as fascinating as part 1 oh, probably even better more than likely oh, that's just the way it always seems to go.

As usual, I am ready for launch. Bring It On !!!

This craft is designed so much better than we give it credit for. We've inhabited them so long, piloting the flesh, that we sick of it as self. It's the conscience that travels on light beams perhaps into the flesh made human on earth oh, and it is the light beams that we are which we will return again empty there's heavens.

It's incredibly beautiful there and what I can tell you mostly is it is like being an electron going through the conductor gold and that everything glows with a beautiful Aura of brilliant colors and that it feels perfectly comfortable, not too hot nor not too cold, and within emotionally there is a perfect peace as though we have never known and we'll never know on our Earthly inhabitants, and amazingly all you have ever known of others are with you there and you are aware of each other's presence and you share knowledge and language is simply thought. You are your conscience in flight. I felt like I was the same exactly but now after the metamorphosis, I had departed in my simplest and most energetic basic self, across space towards the black hole on light beams. I truly feel like I went to outer space and back and that was not just during my medical procedure. It started in death.

In death there was Blackness and my voice. I only thought of the one I love and how do I return end of my beloved dogs. In that instant I was back, as I remember oh, and so very much more it's hard to believe !!!

So far I've confirmed quite a few things but I'm not going into great detail with my doctors or medical professionals or attending staff yet, Perhaps I will but this is a process like healing and so it is wisest to take time and learn those baby steps all over again and make sure the tool boxes full of tools such as coping mechanisms so that I can get through to that other side stronger and better than I have ever been, as a human.

I almost feel as though a reincarnated soul that went back to the same body. I got the experience in the wisdom of the entire whole experience from birth to a fantastic incredible life all the way through death until it's completion. Then this miraculous medical staff brought me back, somehow. And here I am again, but different end in a different vessel but all still the same model. It was like a recall and then you have to fix it. Sometimes we don't know how to fix the recall because we don't even know it exists yet. That's what I always felt like beforehand and I tried to tell my doctors for years something was terribly wrong and so we pinpointed some things but takotsubo syndrome isn't intermittent problem and it's probably quite a bit more involved there and now I intend on throwing time and energy towards finding Solutions. Somehow I forgot to do it on my own I'm going to solve some of these things so that others don't have to suffer as I did.

Suffering is most certainly temporary and we should all have a great great faith in that knowledge, but it does not mean that we should tolerate it anywhere around us.

They're really truly is nothing more cruel than letting another suffer.

It is okay to let the terminally ill depart we just need to hold their hand and let them know that they are loved and give it to him the most enjoyable departure possible within socially acceptable norms and those socially acceptable Norms should always be more flexible and more accommodating as the passage of time goes by and we learn what is best, and we shall not discount personal testimony anymore. It is not a science certainly but it is discounted to Nary a single percent of what so many medical professionals wants to consider as a factor of the greater picture, composed of multiple factors were often we only seek one. We are a very very closed-minded, fearful, selfish race. We are so stupid that we attack one another and it is pitiful. It is all based in fear and we are all full of it because we are primally wired that way, but we can overcome these deficiencies. We will indeed overcome these deficiencies, or certainly this species will without a doubt parish for sooner then the programming would otherwise allow.

Sounds terrible to think that you are programmed but what do you think DNA is?

Slapping Death Down Through Faith

I stared at and laughed at death in the face and I slapped that little b**** ass evil devil down !!!

Actually I never saw this, Death. he is a mere figment of the imagination without a doubt. The great humbling is no humbling in the way you think it will be as in a permanent silence. the great humbling is a humbling where you know the presence of everything and everybody else and they know all that you know as well but we still hold individual identities. Language is thought, not spoken. It is thought alone, your conscience, known to one another.

Your thought is manifest there and so is mine and so is everybody else's. heaven is the next dimension or realm that we make this metamorphosis through as we travel faster through space-time in our soul once we are able to depart the body, but keep in mind if you choose when you are going to check out yourself, you definitely not playing by the rules and I just know that but I know nothing more except to suggest that you never take the shortcut and easy way out. you pray that others help you to develop face and you pray that others will help you and step up in your greatest time of need and you learn the lesson to not cry wolf or play games in this life. That does not mean don't have fun. That doesn't mean surrounding yourself with wonderful and beautiful things in this physical world. It does mean precisely to do so for others also, or else what of your own soul are you?

Is it sad to know that that might be my most satisfying moment of existence yet.

It's exciting to wonder what's next for a change instead of thinking oh no what's next.

I feel more real and More alive than I have ever known.

If you thought that I spoke up before and was brutally honest, I could be worse than ever.

There are a great ancient stories about a language used once upon a time that could manifest into real-time that which was spoken.

Sadly, perhaps that's all language, but we have lost touch with that reality. Don't you see the power of your words have from their point of origin and then as you bring them forth to share with the World At Large? Don't you see the power of the words from the point of origin to their endpoint where you share them with your family?... your church?...your community? ...ad infinitum.

Have you ever believed something so much that you watched it come into being?

It started with a thought in your mind. Truly your own unique thought to yourself. You worked hard and put something together and then watched precisely what was in the mind become reality. Is that not the world we each and all live in?

If you think perhaps that's not the world we live in, you certainly know somebody who has done the things stated in the paragraph above, without a doubt. We all do, without a doubt.

We build Faith through works, plural, a lifetime lasting. We are conscience of ourselves when we rest upon our own a laurels, and we call only ourselves out to rise up and becomes stronger, while silently reaching a hand out in assistance in others of even more need.

If you think selfishly, you will live selfishly, you will be selfish, and you will die selfishly. It's that simple. Please don't be selfish to yourself in these regards any longer if these words slap you across the face and sting.

understand that thought is powerful and now Focus that energy so that we can all start working together and lift each other up, lift this world up, towards the heavens which we know are the better future ahead for us all, and help us to all do this starting now.

Please Lord I pray that we continue to restore humanity. Lord I pray that we continue to restore civility and culture to all of humanity and that we learn respect and to communicate once again no matter what ever any single difference maybe or every single difference maybe.

I am not a warmonger, however, I do accept and understand the human condition and as much as I would love to be able to remove the negative things of War, it seems to be a part of the human condition or at least the human history so far by our choosing. It seems there will certainly always be an aggressor, can you argue not? So to defend one's self or not? To defend one's family or not? To defend one's territory or not? ...country or not? Etc

We cannot naively move forward, which means through due diligence don't remain by choice ignorant. The best prepared are the least attacked!

We should help everybody become the best prepared, until we can have a stalemate that is paradigm-shifting and the soul searching can end when we all know peace and expect peace and realize that nobody wants to attack another when we start to share resources first to maintain and sustain life, and only when excess use it in capitalistic systems for profit.

Reread the sentence above, for it could pave the way to a bright new and beautiful future.

The power of your thought alone as an individual, as one single man or woman is that powerful, that it can shift an entire paradigm when the world realizes that something that makes sense must replace something that is failing.

let's do those types of things moving forward and let's do those types of things together moving forward and let's do those types of things together moving forward so that we all know the faith of just the amount found if it could be placed within side of physical objects and then we realized that within a mustard seed there could be contained this minoot amount of faith that was truly enough to move even more than mountains.

Do I really have to hand you a physical piece of Faith for you to believe in that? Have you not seen Faith move things all around you throughout your entire life? Just because you don't have Faith doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I'm a Christian but I don't expect or demand fat of anybody. You are each precisely where you are supposed to be already, for it is not of my making. Inside we each know our maker. Outside in this world we share together. If evil wherever manifest we would certainly find it in that place that we share here and now. Is that not only logical?

I know that the next realm, or the next dimension, is of pure peace. It is not the garden of Eden. It is not of the physical and human realm. If it was anything describable, and keep in mind that there are no human words that can describe a place that doesn't exist on Earth oh, well I would say it was like I was a photon and I was on a light beam and so was every other surrounding entity and we all had just overlapping incredible beautiful auras and we were nothingness but our thoughts and anything and everything we would want would materialize in perfect harmony with another. We were all knowing and we were all together and we were all God. We are all God. God is not a single face. God is an every face.

I pray people stop hurting one another.

That's a Cheap Trick of Brutal Honesty About Being the Flame

There's very few bands I don't care for but here's one of them.

https://www1.ticketmaster.com/event/15005574C2184457?camefrom=LN_BALTWASHDC_Facebook_SMPD_02152019

I hope their tour is fantastic and I'm sure they are likely great folks... This isn't personal....

I've been waiting my entire life for that epiphany moment... but it's never come.

For the life of me, I have no idea what everybody else sees in this band at all. This is not something that eludes me easily, as this is actually one of my fortes... understanding why certain band appeals to the "masses". And I'd rather not play upon any of those criteria personally. I don't really think of music like a game, but I understand the marketing aspects perfectly too, because I ran a marketing department at a mortgage company.

So....

What do you like about them and why do they make your soul jiggle ???

I want to know. It's not like I don't like them as individuals and it's not like I don't have the greatest and utmost respect for a fantastic and very well admired career. It's not like I don't appreciate the wonderful artists working together making music or anything in those regards, because it is perhaps the life I know finest myself.

Perhaps I just got burnt out growing up on the radio and hearing these songs just ridiculous amounts of time everyday. I'm not one for repetition, I bore easily, I move along quickly and I can disassociate and forget as a coping mechanism so it's easy to just throw this music to the wind.

I hate to be hypercritical but part of it's my nature and the other part of it is I'm analytical and I just can't understand something I've got to keep picking it apart so I'm just hoping somebody else might tell me...

For example,

Will you see you idiot, Steve, LOL... While you were busy doing things you shouldn't have, other people were falling in love and learning how to live and listening to this music so therefore it benchmarks a part of their lives that tugs at the heartstrings because it makes them relive wonderful beautiful memories that maybe you don't have.

Now that sounds like something I would say to you, the a****** that I like to be most of the times, but that same guy that won't waste a word with sugar coating, unless I think you're a pussy and I can't handle it.

You know what they say about people that cuss? They're trustworthy. But you got to wonder, who are they? The NAVY ? The Meteorologists? Shit, maybe it's Cheap Trick !!!

It would be another cheap trick on me !!!

Look, in my last life I was no angel, but I was no devil either. I'm still I am a very imperfect soul but I'm not sure if I'm the same soul, and I never thought I would say that. And what I mean there's that I'm a better soul.

I'm brutally honest about myself and about others selves with them, and I want to learn and become a better and better person as I always have. I absolutely refuse to let my layering mistakes and lack of self-control at times and pure stupidity rule over the better promises of life, once you learn how to live.

Not everybody is born knowing how to fly.

What in the heck ever happened to tolerance question marks to assistance and love. Two a real smackdown but with caring? thank God I had a very very stable father and an incredible Big Brother. They kept me super tough and on my toes and always let me know somebody was watching over me, or else...

I can be pretty mischievous, and I'm pretty God damn sharp, and I know how to take shortcuts for even create them and I can spot shortcomings in systems and and people and so I could either be the biggest criminal or I could be the best at security... Luckily that's not up to you, and fortunately I've chosen well, above and over temptation.

I don't know how I could be much more honest than that but this is the importance of having a great role model. Not a good role model. Definitely not a poor role model.

If you want to play a cheap trick, play The disappearing father act. If that felt like a slap in the face, turn around and start making some amends and learn how to swallow your pride. If you need somebody to talk to, talk to me.

I always thought how nice it would be to be Jesus. I always thought how nice it would be to live forever and experience everything and understand how it felt to walk in everyone's shoes. It hurts a lot so far. I'm not delusional. I know I'm Not Jesus. He is just a man from the past I deeply admire. I probably more deeply admire him for the way people viewed him, more likely above and over the actual life that he lived, which still would simply have been absolutely amazing without a doubt and certainly far more human than has ever been recorded because to record normal things would not make sense from a historical perspective, as they would be expected oh, I have ever received you now think that he always walked on water.

There's no miracle if nobody's watching. There's no miracle if there's no expectation of a miracle.

I will be the flame ?

Maybe I'm finally starting to teach myself because I hit my head hard enough to open my mind up some more.

You ever fall down so hard you knock your body out of your body?

Your soul ever depart and come back a soul like it had been reincarnated, but allowed to re-enter the same exact time and body it was in last time?

You just don't even wants to know how crazy it gets up inside of my head after my life's experiences.

I'm so very thankful for life. I'm so very thankful for learning. I'm so very deeply thankful for the most beautiful family anybody could ever be blessed with. I am so very thankful for the god of my understanding, just to like each one of you has if you believe in him or not. I am so very deeply thankful for salvation. Salvation may start as an inner choice but it is often dependent on everybody around you.

I felt like I looked down and saw two sets of footprints on the beach. I was walking side-by-side with God my best friend. Then when things got really really tough I looked down and I saw more footprints than humanly imaginable because that's when you all of the world carried me.

You are all the flame.

I'm just "the Steve". Lol

Laughter and prevention over disease, is easily worth a pound of weed.

I wanted to end on a high note of new artistic idiomatic expression , so make that an G ! I'm so glad they don't issue licenses for becoming an artist.

So ... Enlighten me, be the flame!

... And what do you know about this f****** band?

Can you really make me like them ???

I want you, to want me.

Confession of Pure Love ~ Poetry ~ Mobius∆Tripz

Confessing my love,
not still living the lie,
In death for me was time to fly,
I returned for you and our love,
Like an angel ascended,
I fell back down from above,
my life over had ended,
just the thought of love,
a fantasy of us,
blessed are we perfectly innocent with frienship and trust,
I'll love you for all of eternity,
millions of mllennia past our bodies turning to dust,
my one and only, always forever, perfect Queen.

Bitter Blackened Love ~ Poetry / Lyric ~ Mobius∆Tripz

Love, so perfect shared and always together pure, returned me back to my earthly life's realm, I could go no further without you in my life.

Our lips together virgin,
In my mind... I'm your perfect lover,
In your mind...  you think of another,
and your lips now do depart.

Broken,
My fucking heart.

Heart Disease Early Detection Protocol Ideas and Treatment, Overlooked Early Treatment Opportunities of the # Killer in the World

I felt like an old V8 that always had the oil changed but had two broken spark plugs and bad spark plug wires. Now that I've got this tune up, hope is restored and my energy levels are starting to soar like I was 18 or 20 again. It's almost freaking scary after 20 + years of suffering intermittently, mostly always.

The heart disease also explains...

Persistent non-healing illness and disease.

Far lower pain thresholds.

Lack of stamina.

All joints hurting all the time.

Muscular ache and  lethargy.

night sweats from held left the bed sick, of which I told my doctors over and over and over and it's the number one symptom to heart disease. I did have heart disease but they could not pinpoint how critically severe, although I voiced my opinion and just stuff like once then you know what's this idiot have any clue about ??? why is it that that is how the patient is treated when the one that is flying the goddamn biological vessel is the f****** patient ???

this list is only going to get longer and longer if I'm looking for ways to pinpoint heart disease far ahead of time. Again and you might as well just start thinking about it's going to kill you because statistically, it's most likely. So, what would you do to prevent that.

Death is on the black horse riding at you charging fast !

Start wondering if we throw all of these early warning signs of Tell-Tale heart disease right into the fibromyalgia dust-bin and call it a day and disregard what's coming and not treat what's possibly preventable !!! You have to understand that statistically this almost has to be correct in one way shape or form because the majority of deaths are by heart attack...that is just a fact. there's often a very very specific progression that goes along with these progressive diseases. Heart disease is progressive. it doesn't have to be a good be out of the blue and in an instant kill you, but typically it's progressive.

Another critical thing I have uncovered is that many people that have electrical problems associated with the heart, have had trauma to the cervical area of the spine. It is indeed a fact that the sinus node which is a part of the heart tissue is indeed it self fully and wholly responsible for generating the electrical pulses that makes our heart work properly, pump blood, and provide us a pulse, etc. I never had any heart rhythm problems until after a car accident and more critically a fall down wooden steps where I broke a vertebrae and I had a concussion so bad I don't remember almost anything for about a week. There is a very specific reason that these injuries in the cervical area of the neck can and indeed do disrupt the signaling produced in the sinus node.

I will update that in part 2 and you will continue to see additional parts posted in my blog as I continue to construct this from a rough draft to a final and pure review article eventually.