Do you ever feel like you are in an Eddy of life and that you are just swimming in circles with your problems?
First of all...
Number One RULE !!!
DON'T PANIC
IF YOU WANT TO GUARANTEE DEATH, PANIC !
How do you not panic in a panic situation? Training. That is truly the only way to almost 100% ensure that you do what you're supposed to do when your fight or flight response once you to not do what is really truly in your best interest.
For example, this is what Navy seals are trained to overcome in basic essence.it is hard to act upon and rise above and over a threat that is staring you and your life directly in the face, especially if you know it's going to take you away 100% for sure.
You don't have time for panic if you want to survive you must realize this immediately.
What is faith?
Faith says if I can pray and execute through the protocol that I have been taught to save my life, that others are going to come and help. I put Faith in a system because the system says those will come to help me if I call them.
That sounds as stupidly insane as Angels doesn't it ???
That same old Faith that everybody says is bulls**t, fake, doesn't exist, etc.
That's the exact same Faith that saved my life on August 5th as well as brought to Angels into my house to take me to the hospital to the rest of the angels that I prayed to be working with soon. Now, all my mission is to give back.
Have I been a perfect angel in this life? Absolutely not even close. Have I been given Grace and redemption? precisely such as everybody else is offered each and every day. Have I been resurrected? I have, by God's grace and by the grace of others, my angels, and through faith, let me be abundantly clear yet again.
if I don't believe in face, if I don't believe that the phone call is going to help me to get the help that I need to save my life, I don't live because I don't follow through and execute upon those beliefs.
If ever 3 death I can offer eternal life, that is the message I'm trying to offer here more than anything.
It is a miracle that still I walk again amongst the living oh, but it is a much larger miracle that there is a promise of eternal life, and it's a fact.
I still can't prove it to you, but I can say that I went to this place and I got to come back, and most of you can't say that. I have medical professional proof I went there too. I don't have medical professional scientific proof about what I observed and what I saw and what I heard and what I felt and what I learned in what I am supposed to do with what I brought back, but I know and I have faith, and I'm not scared of anything anymore. That doesn't mean I'm lost common sense and that I'm going to act a fool and be ignorance incarnate. it means I need to hold my head up high for the god of my own personal understanding and I need to live the best life I can live from here forward just as I have always tried my best to do and indeed done, flawed and human as everyone.
I don't know what faith means to you, but I want you to know that my faith saved me. It wasn't just my faith in God. It was my faith in others. You don't even have to believe in God or in other's for that faith. or if you don't want to call him or her or it God that's okay because it's not something from this Earthly realm anyway so just call it whatever you want and whatever you're comfortable with I could care less, Jesus could care less, God could care less and Muhammad could care less and Buddha could care less and shall I go on and on for eons and waste time through the division we call denomination? Denomination is not just a Christian sin. if you think my words are strong these were the words I was supposed to come back with a share, in part.
Call me crazy if you want oh, that's okay. you might feel quite crazy too if you experienced what I just did.
You know the funniest thing through it all is I'm still not disabled through the social security administration of the United States of America, which I have brought all the way to the top appeal to times previous to this third denial. The two previous times with an attorney and this third time... why bother.
I've been persecuted and call the piece of s*** in a drug addict all for the country that I love. I have fought for what I thought was there to help me in my time of help, but medical science couldn't prove the issues, at heart concerning my health, in full.
it pisses me the f*** off as a human being that I have to accept the facts above, but that's where I stand today and I also stand today.
you have to understand I fell down the steps during my heart attack in my heart attack was after strokes oh, and the doctors thought I broke my neck, and indeed I still have a misplaced vertebrae for dislocated or you know put whatever label on it you want... the doctors don't understand me cuz you know I'm going home by but let's do the surgery and when can I leave and boom... in 5 days here I am. Back with my sweet dogs in my bird and the woman of my dreams still in only my dreams, but better than not in my life at all. I only mention that because it's all I wanted to come back for, a single woman in my two pet dogs that I adore, all... adore... more than I have ever known and loved anything.
it all seems like a big fairytale or a bunch of BS but it's all true...
it's pretty tough waking up every morning knowing this reality and I guess everybody thinks I'm the freak that I am.
it's pretty lonely here, but I was used to that anyway because that's how you all left me most of the time... Most every single one of you, not all.
you didn't do it because you hated me or you pitied me or any other reason other than that your own lives were busy, as is my own selfish life.
I'm glad through death the ego gets smashed and I know how much I don't matter. it's great to know that the world doesn't revolve around me and that I don't matter to all of you and that that doesn't matter to me either a bit now, at last.
it feels like I lived in some other body that was uncomfortable in its own skin and never wanted to be perfectly happy or something strange and I can't explain all that but I'm not that same person that I was dead and I feel so incredibly different. I am not a different man but I returned a different man in a different body and I'm having a hard time getting used to all of this. mentally just try to wrap your head around it all, but even physically I'm just not precisely to say when I'm trying to relearn my whole everything, with my coordination and things just the slightest bit off but getting closer to that me that I know and expect and I want to be 20 again. I'm going to continue to heal because I'm confident in that, but only through faith and only as long as I am supposed to and when it is time to depart again, I am as ready as ever, but trust me I am in no hurry whatsoever as I love this beautiful and dear life.
I don't know how to repay everybody and I don't no why I got to survive when there are so many more four more worthy than myself ;(
I don't feel so grandiose that God had these big and great plans for me but then how can you not even think that at all? One must not just think this but no disrespect because indeed to walk again, in the face of everything that happened to me, what in the heck can one else think rational?
One reason you might want to think about faith and something that is a higher power and it's not a human being is that human beings will always feel you, guaranteed.
God is always by your side and God will never fail you.
One disappointment that hasn't left is the amount of hate and greed and hoarding in sin that I just see surrounding me all of the time, and it's proliferation.
My heart breaketh' still.
What an awesome life !!!
Please do not waste yours, and value that of all that lives that surrounds you.
No comments:
Post a Comment