It is great beautiful and perfect and indeed you know you are with all of your loved ones and more, indeed you know that there is the most immense love and that every single hole you have ever felt in your heart has been filled exponentially with love exponential.
I'm writing a lot lately. I am trying to describe parts of my experience that are unbelievably and incredibly vivid. hopefully in short order I have some other witnesses to what took place but I'm just not personally ready to go there quite yet, but close.
I'm determined all of a sudden that I'm going to find a career and fend for myself again soon oh, and I have an offer on the table that if realistic could be the most beautiful gift next to this second chance of life that would be something indescribable in itself to the place where I just feel somehow I know I would be home. I promised I would work there if they saved my life. At my last appointment I was asked if I was ready. I wasn't ready to be asked so soon. I thought maybe I made up all this stuff but this confirmation of this question about are you ready to come to work for me now?... Well, I replied not quite yet but very soon.
To know that my cardiologist expected me to say yes because he asked so soon, well I knew that he expected me to continue on this crazy fast past of healing and miracles that he observed.
you have to understand everything that transpired and that I made it home in 5 days and then that I took my neck brace off in five mores days almost doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
But then again sure it makes sense. There's always a chance don't you see ???... and if there's truly no chance, as we understand through tragic events, it's okay to hurt, but it's not okay to hurt yourself. That emptiness all goes away, no???.. but we must remain here where we understand precisely what each of our lessons mean for each one of us until it is time for departure of which we really truly should not interfere and I just know that as I know my intuition that I trust so deeply and always have.
I would love to give you greater evidence, and perhaps I will rationalize that but I have nothing to draw pain at the moment it feels, and so this is where I am in these regards.
there are many different angles to what happened to me and I've written many different stories that I need to sit down with somebody and publish but I'm not ready to edit all of this yet to come and it's going to take somebody that's not me that really gives a darn and is fascinated by this topic because the story here is so much more than anything about me.
It's about where we are, where we are going, and it's about the medical community and where it is and where it is going. We really truly have a beautiful future if we all learn to work together even better, but that means nothing if we shun the suffering in the sick and we let children and the needy starve. Anybody without food is needy.
We are only as gracious as we are not greedy.
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