Learned Helplessness ~ Lyrics / Poetry ~ Mobius∆Tripz

We are Gen Z

you owe all of us especially me !

it's all always about me

disgruntled highjacked brainwashed always angry

so fucking hateful and angry hateful and angry

hateful and angry

so list o. the sauce you're cooked in you don't and can't see reality

like a frog in cold water then the gas is turned on

the water slowly simmering angering and conjuring emotions inside but numbed and oblivious you are manipulated and blindly naievely can't understand fathom or see

then the water starts to bubble and steep

you never even knew you were in this deep

always over your head

always way to deep

making threats and promises your fucking mouths and souls can't keep

cooked from the inside out numb in permanent misery

you think you have mastery. knowledge and hold all the keys

bubbles bubbles bubbles and steam

bubbles bubbles bubbles and steam

bubbles bubbles bubbles and steam

ridiculously oblivious to what's happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening 

it's almost over 

froggie preaching and hatefully commanding their delusional dreams history teaches never come to fruition 

as the pot boiled over and you can't listen watch read think for yourself or learn what's really happening

froggies in a pot

all froggies in a big old pot

thinking about only yourselves and always asking too late what's happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening 

happening happening happening

Addiction Mathematics ~ Lyrics / Poetry ~ Mobius∆Tripz

Addiction mathematics, then inverse replay
Addiction lies and says it’s pleasing me for free
Addicted, addiction, addition subtracted from me
Paradoxical minus plus

Addiction is the subtraction
Of every addition that could have been
My reality
Our reality

Reality
Reality
Reality
Reality
Reality
Reality

The future addition subtracted from me
The subtracted what-could-have-been reality
Now
Not reality

Not reality
Not reality
Not reality
Not reality
Not reality
Not reality

Addiction is the addition stolen and subtracted from me
That could have been my reality
Our reality
Paradoxical minus plus

Addicted, addiction, addition subtracted from me
Addiction lies and says it’s pleasing me for free
Addiction mathematics, then inverse replay
On repeat

Replay on repeat
Replay on repeat
Replay on repeat
Replay on repeat
Replay on repeat
Replay on repeat

Derealization ~ Poetry / Lyrics ~ Mobius∆Tripz

Desensitized
Washed and rinsed repeatedly on repeat
Nothing left underneath
Lost track of reality

Brainwashed but wasn’t dirty
Thought I was thirsty
Went to water my mind and lost all reality
Chemicals coursed through my veins and changed me

I was no longer me
Not part of reality
No longer me
What’s reality?

Who am I and who is me?
Dreaming or reality
Is that a building over there
Elevator up and out, floor 13

Down the hall I see a window, maybe
Or am I imagining?
Nothing is even real
Living inside a projection hologram universe

A game-theory character with absolutely no meaning
Every moment a moment, always perpetually dreaming
I never wake up
The only reality is the dream itself

Fuzzy, floaty auras
Glowing, luminescing all around
Psychedelic colors
What?

I have a family?
You mean I do have a family?
I have a family.
I have a family?

I have a family.
I have a family?
I have a family???
Are you kidding me?

A job and kids three?
A wife and siblings and bills
And I earned a degree
This is all ridiculous dream

As I step off the edge and begin to fly
But not weightless
The ground below getting closer
What happened?

Not floating, falling
Sinking back to reality
A deafening thud
I should have asked for help

But appreciated the dissociation
Depersonalization break from and of reality
Detached now on the asphalt
Depersonalization permanently

Then I wake up
And because I asked for help
Fortune, this was all just a dream
But I don’t feel like me

I don’t know me
Beside myself
Here and there simultaneously
Beside ourselves

I don’t know us or me
Waking from my dream of a depersonalization reality
Or am I dreaming still?
Nothing seems real

Brainwashed but wasn’t dirty
Thought I was thirsty
Went to water my mind and lost all reality
Chemicals coursed through my veins and changed me

I was no longer me
Not part of reality
No longer me
What’s reality?

Who am I and who is me?
Dreaming or reality
Desensitized
Washed and rinsed repeatedly on repeat

Nothing left underneath
Lost track of all of myself
And all of dreams and reality
Dreams and reality

Dreams or reality
Dreaming of reality
Realistic dreams I believed
Am I awake or dreaming?

Or is this reality?
Up here it’s pretty high

Depersonalization ~ Lyrics / Poetry ~ Mobius∆Tripz

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I couldn't believe from over here I could see me over there or how I was over there and simultaneously here

rip in space-time another dimension or simply depersonalization exploration?

Am I now a out of body astronaut, a soul looking at myself I don't even like that over there sot

how can I be both here and there and not even really care

I wasn't even so engaged to think much about it or stare

amazing as it kind of was I realized it what I wanted needed and had previously in my mind repeatedly dated

man I wish I wasn't me

I wish I was over there

could you believe not being me

why am I talking to you and you talking to me when we are one having a conversation about two but both are within me beside ourselves 

what's happening 

what's happening 

what's happening 

now I know neither of you

I steer away as though your both contagious 

further I push the envelope of separation 

and mail myself as far away on deep discerning desperation

what's happening 

what's happening 

what's happening 

 

this is ground control to Major Tom 

are you coming back home

or just floating weightless further and further away

knowing yourself less and less each day

can you hear me myself

can you see me anymore me

do you know who's talking to you

and who is talking back too

in the mirror not even a face

drifting further away in space

what a disappearing pace

beside myself a different life taste

I couldn't believe from over here I could see me over there or how I was over there and simultaneously here

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

I never understood the saying I was beside myself

until I was beside myself

Dissociation ~ Poetry / Lyrics ~ Mobius∆Tripz

Everywhere I go, there I am
I just need a vacation
A daycation
I can’t stand any more staycation

I need weed, propofol, Thorazine, DMT
Anything to make me leave me
Let this trapped soul launch away temporarily
From this jail-cell body torturing me

I want to be free
No stress, no abuse, no pain
No psychological misery
No repeating filmstrips in my head—tragedy

No God damn voice within
Cursing me with words
Or cursing at me in words
Anymore, please, permanently

Leave
Leave
Leave
Leave

Leave
Leave
Leave
You’re not a fucking part of me

Not a fucking part of me
Part of me
You’re not a fucking part of me
Not a fucking part of me

Part of me
Dissociation
Dissociate
Disappear and dissipate

I don’t want to return
It’s time to part the pearly gates
But what if I get repelled
And sent back to myself—me

Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Me, me, me

Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Or oh my God—noooooooooooooo
Purgatory

Purgatory
Purgatory
No, this can’t be happening to me
Not purgatory

No, I can’t enter
St. Peter’s turning me away
Just because I dissociated
Needed a vacay

Vacay
Vacay
Vacay
Vacay, vacay, vacay

Vacation, vacation, vacation
Vacay, vacay, vacay
Vaycay
Vayvay

Vaycay
It’s about time I get myself back to me
Am I dreaming or dissociating?
I’m up here looking down, floating

This might be the permanent end of me
In this body
What are these doctors doing to me?
Now why are they stopping doing anything to me?

Mottling
Not breathing
Not gasping
Not wheezing

All I wanted was to temporarily dissociate from me
From myself—me, oh my, oh me
From myself—me, oh my, oh me
Me, oh my, oh me

Me, oh my, oh me
Me, oh my, oh me
Me, oh my, oh me
Me, oh my, oh me

Me, oh my, oh me

Anhedonia ~ Lyrics / Poetry ~ Mobius∆Tripz

I met Anhedonia
A goddess on a throne
A succubus amidst all unknown
The rest of the good life is history

It started out perfection, bliss, Nirvana
Heavenly, beautiful, dreamy, and perfect for me
Then the greatest aspects of life started misleading me
Leaving me

Betraying me and stabbing, bleeding me
Feeding on me, slowly slaying me
Anhedonia
Why, oh why, did you lie?

How was I so naive?
I believed
To believe is naive
How was I so naive?

Why, oh why, did you lie?
Anhedonia
PTSD—I can’t see the present or the future
Just tragedy in my life replaying persistently, incessantly, constantly, repeatedly, relentlessly, excessively, suicidally

Oh please
Anhedonia
Why did you root this in me
And steal from me the promises you gave to us, to we, to me?

What the hell is happening to me?
Happening to me
Happening to me
Happening to me

To me
To me
To me
Me, me, me

Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Me, me, me

Me, me, me
Me, me, me
Anhedonia and me
Promises that delivered misery

Succubus took my everything
To my beautiful, perfect ordinary
Which for granted I took
Now I’m in PTSD, miserably, suicidally

Anhedonia
She stole it all from me
That goddess succubus
She stole it all from me

That goddess succubus
She stole it all from me
That goddess succubus
She stole it all from me

Naively I gave it to her willingly

Addiction ~ Poetry / Lyrics ~ Mobius∆Tripz

I can’t
Can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t
Stop this insanity
Can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t
Stop this insanity

Trapped, living inside, deep in me
Driving me
Stealing from me
Reading me
Teasing me
Lying to me
And then pleasing me

Addicted, addiction, addition subtracted from me
I’m less and less of all I’ll ever be
And it pleases this part of me
Broken part of me
Broken part of me
Broken part of me

I please religiously
Serve indefinitely
Give and give more than I have
And it takes more from me and others too
A hungry, sinister, monstrous brew
That still fucking pleases me

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God
It pleases this broken part of me
While stealing from and killing me
It pleases this broken part of me

And I serve it incessantly
Religiously
Forever weak on my knees
Not praying, but cursing and swearing—a slave
Serving this addiction miserably
Lying about how much it pleases me

This broken part inside says over and over
It pleases me
As I gray away and slowly, more quickly, decay
And the voice of the broken part inside gets louder
Demanding we are almost free

And this will be exactly what ultimately piques and pleases me
This trajectory
This destiny

I serve it dutifully
While it’s killing me

Addiction
Behavioral addiction
It’s killing me
Slowly, more quickly, killing me

A payment plan for misery
A payment plan I choose freely
That’s killing me
As it says it’s pleasing me

Morbid, stinking, decaying flesh
Death from within
This addiction consumes me
As it’s killing me from the inside out

And says

It’s pleasing me
It’s pleasing me
It’s pleasing me
It’s pleasing me
It’s pleasing me
It’s pleasing me