Jettisoning ~ I Am Program

Yesterday I jettisoned more of those poor old archaic ideas that no longer work along with shedding some of my terrestrial body as I rebuild myself with only better and better fuel that of nourishment for my physical well-being and that of nourishment for my soul and I am looking to find great balance and to strengthen myself to Heights I have never known before this time in my life now but also with reasonable expectations based upon the vessel I inhabit which I have inventoried quite well.

I don't have to wait for the next life to be reborn Jesus Christ guarantees me I can have a new life today and that is not alive so if you take in a breath no matter the condition you're in if there is fight left within you fight and fight and fight but know how to ask for help and when and where and use your energy towards healing in distancing yourself from negatives before someone else does it for you.

Life is about leaping over hurdles or going to war or having incredible circumstances that are insurmountable and it is these moments we involve or we don't. I'm not talking about little wimpy things I'm talking about the things in life that you need massive support networks for and reinforcements far above and beyond your own coping mechanisms which as each of us left as individuals is certain to fail far earlier than we are if we are to have a network upon which to share support.

And in a greater way in a positive looking forward way think of those things that will be when we are plugged into these incredible support networks and we are contributing members and we are learning from the members that just look to appear so natural as they serve these volunteer positions because I'm not talking about getting paid here.

It's also something else to see everybody's different boundaries and interpretations of what common bylaws are for example and what are conflicts of interest for example versus what aren't and to have respect for one another is of the utmost importance because I know none other that I have walked in their shoes nor none that have walked in my own and therefore I know I am not to judge as others I wish would not judge myself and I know these lessons I have learned not just because I have read them or heard them but because I haven't lived them in most indelibly felt them.

I stand up for what I believe in and so I can get ostracized I guess of my own choosing which I could really care less so obviously it's of my own choosing but I'm not going to lie and I'm always going to stand by the side of those that are doing what is right and what is the best for a community for example and I am very idealistic although I understand and a realistic world we have to play some cut fruit games and trust me I'm good at those too.

On patients look at the very last few words from the sentence above because there's Karma and in a karmic reality that we also live in kind of as a parallel reality just in philosophy because it's the mind that interprets the reality that's around us and that is 100% scientific fact so since we each interpret this reality around us well I know from observing and from watching others and from knowing my own self from experience that what comes around does indeed go around it is just basic science and studying equilibrium for example if you want to understand it in the light of physics more or in the light of anything because that law applies everywhere at least in the universe as we understand it today, indeed if we are observing elsewhere we may observe something where everything is completely 100% different than this spiraling golden formula Galaxy we are cruising along in within this planetary system just a few planets over in this nice warm cozy spot oboy lucky us !!!

Ever since birth I dream of that place and going up there I want so much to go to space one day and I really did send NASA a letter a few years ago saying that I will give them the rest of my life if they'll give me a new spine and they can blast me off tomorrow and I'll be the first to go. I hope they recognize my name and put some things together in their heads and realize this guy's pretty crafty and we ought to get him off the Earth because he's costing us too much money to keep around and he's feisty as hell and never gives up and it probably be perfect to send there.

It's amazing to listen to one person's version of their own reality is they tell it to somebody else and especially if you're in a group of friends and everybody else already knows what they're telling is not the fool true picture but the truth is we each of you ourselves a different way and then each of the other views us a different way again perspective. I keep bringing it up because it's important so that we will stay out of the personal things that we get so embroiled in that we want to rip each other to shreds and for what Earthly good I never understand?

I'm personally tired of stigmas and I am tired of being hurt I could care less about being ostracized and I'm ready to leave this parcel soon as I again jettison more of this vessel and Escape Into The Ether that Tesla new of so well and I weave my way through the antimatter and the black matter the other parts of the 110 trillionth of this incredible electromagnetic projection from which we are projections upon projections upon projections or what I call Super Holograms and that we are alive here within suggest that yes there is source and it is that place that I will go and in death it is that portal we step through first towards that Journey which never ends and at least there's great peace to know there only will be greater and better more beautiful things to come but with those laws of equilibrium and balance first learn your lessons well before that final departure upon which we do not choose 4 to sin against yourself and the maker at the very essence of your being is to deny one last and final time his greatness in the love he has for you over tumultuous life circumstances no matter what your walk and that is not judging any other man that is just a matter of fact.

I don't know who will read this or when or where but this is my letter in my last paragraph before I depart I kind of will be in a hyperloop but it's a vertical hyperloop and believe it or not it's built of these nanotechnology fibers that use space elevators in the vertical hyperloop structure with super electromagnetic propulsion systems of course that make the time to get into the moon and Mars almost next to nothing especially with the new perfected microwave Drive and I will just tell you this those who will be left behind are those that just say that there are laws and rules against all of this...well, is their mind somehow just too little too dream?

What would Noah say?

We may never know but there are New Horizons and they are ahead and that is where I shall go or am I already there?

I Am Program

An Adventure Retrieving My Range Rover from Grantsville, Maryland

I just want to start saying that this journey started in Grantsville and my destination in the Range Rover was Cumberland Maryland about 16 miles away of a massive Journey but an uncertain one with the vehicle not having been test-driven but I knew exactly what I was getting into prepared again my point hear about all of this morning ething is The Beautiful People of Grantsville and I say some things below that are rather harsh about Cumberland where I live but I absolutely adore and love my hometown and it is exactly what I thought it was when I moved here a beautiful historic City that was in George Washington's Mind's Eye and reality and something that I wanted to experience for myself in the beauty here is just Second To None to me personally and it far outshines anything nasty however the nasty is nasty and that is something that everybody should understand. This is a very small city with a very large city problem, and don't forget that ever. I'm not scared to go out at night but don't let your guard down and be stupid either and why roll the dice with your life when statistically you can purposefully do things during times that are safer. It's your life your decision and my point here is as I left myself wide open tonight but I felt fired up and good and I had not felt this well in months and I needed to get out because I have been sick for a long time and I even ran a little bit tonight with my dog I just had so much energy and praying to God it stays however a lot of its prednisone but a lot of it to you I'm too happy body wants to exercise getting stronger and stronger happier and happier lungs you can feel when your healing even through being sick even if it last 4 months I still feel all the healing I'm sick because my body is getting rid of all the b******* that was left over there's a last vestiges of chemicals that had me completely polluted and almost dead for good and active viral loads of just what causes fever blisters about to knock me out I'm a walking zombie but that's all getting under control. People wonder why I write about the zombie stuff and how I got all that stuff started several years ago and how it proliferated through social media and it was indeed social media and just writing things that put a picture in people's mind so there's a little embellishment that goes on here but the facts are the facts as far as where I brought down sometimes words are used and grammatical errors are made and just like five or six words to go for, is missed but you read through that stuff and find your flow.

I don't have time to edit in to edit in to edit I'm not going to spend my life like that I've already hit the nail on the head and I already know what people like intuitively and people like to read the silly b******* that I like to write but it's all about going on the journey and having a good time and having a little bit of an escape and knowing at the end that you were entertained and fulfilled and that's never a bad thing and when we are more at peace within ourselves and enthralled with life even then we are definitely or so much more help to others and I have always helped others and I will always will help others even though I get bitter or sound bitter sometimes and tonight was one of those nights where God was definitely looking down on me you kept sending me angels and I met some beautiful people and we even exchanged information so that we could speak online and here I get people that roll my eyes because they're so goddamn stupid they can't even understand what I'm saying and they think I'm crazy.

The good things that have happened to me haven't happened to me because I'm crazy the good things have happened to me because I have made contributions and the people that know that take care of one another because that's what good people do and we still always try to help those that aren't in that shape and I'm almost to the point where I am not in that shape recently and I'm picking myself back up nobody else really seems to understand how critical things can get but it doesn't matter to me anymore nobody matters to me anymore I don't love too many people anymore or care about too many people anymore because they don't care about me and I'm not going to offer back a higher amount than I get as I have for most of my life with so many of these people they will get back what they give which is typically nothing or very little and then you get further apart and that's fine because I want to attract greatness not mediocrity and b*******, I've had my plate full of that long enough and feasted on it because I needed good writing material and fun to be wild when you're young and if you missed that in your youth will that's on you I definitely didn't if you regret it or not later that's on you to there's different ways of dealing with things and what you think of me doesn't matter that's my way of dealing with all of this stuff but what I think of me matters and I have very good ideas and principles better than most have a clue I also more than anything love to watch other reaction so I can be.

So now that I'm going to jump into the completely other subject you can think about what you will up above it matters not in the bigger picture what matters is let's go on this adventure and I wish I could tell you even more details but I don't want to make this so terribly long that it becomes a bore, I don't want to write roll your eyes writing because I've honestly seen so many people roll their eyes at me lately when I purposely run my mouth to see what people tolerance levels are and what I'm finding is certainly interesting.

I had an incredible time bringing home my Range Rover tonight with nothing else do you accept try to accomplish something as I have been sick very bad late I decided I would get fit to my vehicle that I finally got the part for.

The first guy I met because he asked me for help was just east of Grantsville one exit down Interstate 68 heading back towards Cumberland and he even indeed earned a BMW that I once owned and that I got from the same guy that I got this Range Rover from and so it's a small world and we both had pictures of the identical car in our phones and compare them and just laughed hysterically and his dad and Joy all of this as we chit chatted together a few minutes as I tightened up some hoses someone else had left loose That we're leaking water.

I made it one more exit and started overheating again and pulled off and found a couple of more little spots so obviously this was something somebody didn't finish and it was not my first time at the rodeo and I came prepared with lots of water tools and snacks and extra stuff but I only made it as far as Frostburg before I finally decided to get towed the rest of the way home so that I didn't damage the vehicle because apart actually blew apart. So hot and right in my face so I got a steam bath but fortunately somehow as soon as it happened in this is the second time it happened I turned so quick I was immediately out of Harm's Way but it was steamed from the radiator hose that exploded.

I also met a fellow named David he was very kind and he was asking me how to get to New Germany State Park to the campgrounds because he was going to meet some friends there and build a sweat lodge and we had wonderful conversation about many things and what I found was that they were great people just west of Cumberland where I found more scummy people than I have ever found in my life and I didn't ever want to say anything like it but since I have lived here from 2002 to 2017 or 15 years I think I'm allowed to say that and I'm quite qualified.

I'm astonished at the culture here and what is acceptable and have people are just so disgusting and selfish towards others and it's because there's a lot of alcohol and drug problems that are deeply embedded into the blue collar and low class or what's left of those two classes and it's tough talking about stuff like this but it's just the raw truth I don't care if somebody likes that or not I'm going to tell it how it is because I am tired of hearing things that are all sugar-coated b*******.

It's time that we educate our way out of these problems and we lift people into better ways of living we have to show them and drag them into a better way of living and that costs money but we must do it or else they will stay left behind and it's not acceptable because life has value and money is b******* that we will just make more of isn't it somebody always pays the bill when we all kick the bucket and money is such b******* we need to move people along you know what will happen when certain things in the modern world are taken care of so that everybody can be productive and feel that they are able to support themselves on the basic level or at least have that sense of security it doesn't need to be a right it should be something that's offered because we can offer it to everybody today and we don't need any more of this disgusting greed and Filthy Rich because these that are filthy rich or those that are filthy rich will be Filthy Rich anyway that will never stop fortunately some of those filthy rich people are the best philanthropists that the world has ever offered so who am I to judge overall but what is important to me is that certain things in society need to start being offered for free maybe even buildings with beautiful rings to check in and you can rest and I just mean a cubicle where you can stay the night and have a shower type of thing and that's it you ain't go to a general cafeteria in that way people want to have to feel homeless because you steal a man's Pride that way and you can't charge so much money for a hotel room nobody can afford it plus problems in life and responsible societies and cultures take care of their people they don't leave them behind and drop out and just don't give a s*** about them and that's what's happening today in a very judgemental disgustingly terrible world full of sin more than I've ever seen before and then when I left this area it seemed like they went to a different world today and people were kind and it be stored faith in humanity almost important on a personal level it gave me such a lift you just couldn't believe and there were other people that asked to and that does not happen in Northern Virginia and Alexandria where I grew up just thankful that all of those beautiful people cared enough to ask. I did have a beautiful black Range Rover and a very pretty dog and it never hurts to look decent and let other know that you take care of yourself because it shines and shows when you do and when you do goodness is attracted to you like you are attracted to hips and all of the bad gets pushed far far away or stays far away because it knows better and that is exactly where I am and my life and synchronicity was perfect tonight in this adventure of shows was precisely what I needed exactly when I needed it because at least these strangers were people that cared about me in my life when the people that say they are my friends absolutely don't give a s***and rarely even answer me anymore.

Thinking About the Pasts Sciences and In the Future Worlds On Their Way, Man-made

Imagine if you will the finest Builders, designers, and engineers, in ancient Egypt long, long, ago utilizing spooky action-at-a-distance type of theory ... but we're what they figured out was basically that if we make what isn't here... then one day it will become exactly what we wanted and precisely when we wanted also... But without the heavy lifting so to speak. Now that I say that and words that everybody can understand yes more or less because there aren't words or the rest of the thought or Theory to back up what I have said.

So many times I have said things or published things in particular where I definitely published first and then the news took my idea or basically my idea is just taken and yes it could be coincidence there are hundreds of millions no wait there are billions of people in this world so it's bound and likely to happen however there are some phrases and some things that are just so absolutely unique I truly do think some of them a lot that is for sure there's more credit than never goes around the credit that does Finley get spread around sadly enough in that goes with all professions and all walks of life but we don't live for credit we live to help the Next Generation and we live to promote life and we live to teach the appreciation of life and to continue towards what is good for us what we call the light which is indeed good for us even the sunshine ... source.

It is where the quantum computer of data that projects us through this Twisted Mobius strip, thus mobiustripz, that indeed I see us twisting and turning through the fabric of space-time and over that event horizon is home and that's why we can't see it if you know what I mean but it's there and we know it we know it through science at long last it's just that everybody's scared to call it what it is and every single galaxy has a black hole in the middle of it and in that Galaxy live that God and in this great Universe perhaps one God as we already perceived so often but I know that science says back my God of this galaxy exists over the Event Horizon and through that black hole in that very well will lead into another dimension of space without Dept mathematics proves this.

Now if that doesn't sound crazy enough my point is this if you could figure out how to make something's opposite which something so massive is the pyramids would be incredible amount of nothingness but a lattice in which to fill and that then you knew how to place that matter in that position well you might learn the finest way to construct buildings my question is why aren't there more and the answer to that as is because it takes time for sure there's no shortcut for time sometimes at least when we're human mathematics proves that yes there are plenty of shortcuts to time but not for us as humans at least yet there's many that are thinking far beyond and outside of the box and I think humanity is going into an awesome place and we are going to shed a lot of terrible nonsense that we all have to tolerate today I think we are just going to see things change on a wholesale level soon one day we're all going to step out doors and realize we're living in a future that is far different from the past instead of a future that seems identical to the past or maybe not even as good as the past I think we are about to launch into this new marvelous incredible place and although I am almost 50 I may not see that in my lifetime this incredible place but I'm dreaming about it and thinking about it wondering how am I going to contribute and what can I learn so that I can continue to hopefully add to the quality of life for human beings something that will offer back continually long after I am gone. I only think that way it's because I was brought up that way and I've been fortunate with wonderful examples of parents, siblings, and Friends and that is without a doubt the truth.

Anyhow I just like to think of these most outrageous of things because I watch documentaries and I read and I imagine and I think of that future that we don't live in yet but it's coming and I'm glad we're going to be shedding all of the ugly because there is a lot of ugly to shed..

There is much great Beauty to come and that is certainly without doubt. It's very tough getting there and that is the now we are living through it is time to work and work hard in dream larger than you can imagine nothing about that statement two Universe Pros as does thought as does your mind so use it and work it too and if you want to cope with bad stress play a musical instrument and the voice doesn't count has to be something tangible even hand as something else to somebody else.

Narco Trippin' ~ Poetry / Lyric ~ Fentanyl Diaries

At first...

Finally pain free I rejoice as youthful once again.

Then we dance...
and dance...
and dance.

Never your cadence over bound !

Now I'm changing and rearranging, will you work with me?

My air conditioned cell an icy 65, while I'm a nuclear furnace sweating intensely just dosed, and outside just 8 feet away through plate glass it's 108 !!!

Damn it, I need a bong hit Lord, to keep the sin away ! Keep all this pain at bay !

It all sounds so crazy, this private love affair, a deserved end !... I'm quelled.

Take a look at my MRI !!!

I stand ...

At all much less walk us pure daily miracle...

medical personal equality under a paradigm broken that forgets about the sickly like me,
I was such a good actor,
no one could see me,
for the freak I am.

It's quiet now,
Just like I asked right?
Dying inside,
Nowhere to run and hide,
alone with my pets,
my house of sin,
and belongings,
no one will share this place of mine,
this den of death and antiquity,
a noose on Chris' birthday,
as Chester so did take,
cowards come walk my way,
Forged it seems through fire,
I was born of military pride,
Regal royal blood,
molested by a son of a bitch Muslim his self a victim of such sinister sin,
his school growing up,
The men in charge,
As the Catholic church falls,
and the jihad only grows,
I had hoped to see this nonsense all end,
As sin only begets more sin,
and we all know the theif always steal away your soul in the night in the end,
as we all must one day so sleep,
it's all on these parts as a miserable dream,
however...

within these folds in-between,
I watched the most beautiful and precious of everything,
and oh dear lord the beauty that abounds and rises above all,
certainly must inspire...

Right?

And so listen,
what of faith?

Why within often quiet and alone,
and hurt so worse my best of friends now home,
no harm or foul really.

Others...
unwilling to leave me be,
why must you bother me in my life?,
as I've suffered enough already,
and I'm simply trying to study, write, learn, offer back,
practice principles in preparation,
for one last test,
In which I will want to be so finely prepared as I go home.

The worst contemplation upon any mind is most certainly that if taking a final test all nerves and upon flunking, understanding you will be left out,
not going to heaven... EVER... and that no matter how you tried, in fear you never loved and yet so wasted life crying over suffering and pain instead of knowing your being forged for greatness ahead.

So what now do you choose?

Crackberry Kush has me contemplate these run ins of life with the most certain of all shared destinies ahead where we all shall pass without doubt,
the portal that is death.

and...

As I observe the scales  so sharply out of balance,
I wonder how to counter one last time so that balance and fairness may be restored, however,
perhaps I shall just sit back and observe,
as I already know just how this dance goes,

And

Did I not indeed set all the pieces upon the table?,
So precisely and exactly as I had intended?,
These are all moves upon a table,
no defenses I'll crush my last move,
Precisely as I had so intended.

Like a snake I want to strike,
coiled up powerful and fast,
quickly back to coiling and stringing again,
however many times needed until fallen you have at last.

Paranoid,
I attack,
Right,
I attack,
Wrong,
I attack,
Left,
I attack,
Sun Tzu on deaf ears am I.

Wasted inefficient energy,
wasted intent,
misspent resources.
Ego and Pride never conquer strategy!

It's in my blood that I must fight,
a warriors soul and a heart of a lion,
but weak I am in pain,
Chemistry saves me,
Pharmacology,
a molecule or two,
Changes and changing outcomes,
Factors offered you to overcome,
I feel the heat and the relief,
from the fire and pain of my nerves,
awash in a viral bed of neural sin.

This is all from imagination,
As I skate on the thin ice of a new day,
born again I she'd my old vessel at long last,
I teleport after my telomeres,
A program divine,
shuts this old vessel down,
to get a trade in,
and come back again and again.

So,
Look for me when your here,
You'll know me by my eyes,
Look deep within,
It's where I still reside,
I'll always be your friend.

Excerpt ~ Endings and Beginnings ~ I Am Program

It is loneliest in life just before the metamorphosis. The intensity slowly builds as further and further away old spirits are placed no longer er to keep you hand pulled downward upon this harsh mortal coil. This twistedness of everyone's own sick making, and thank God it has never been the way I see for us all, that a life none should ever see, this greatest of mis-managers of life itself alone at last, alone at last. I don't know how finally I made it here but I feel safer and at peace and calm alone at last, no competition and no wolf too, alone at last. I think I'll now at long last lay down to rest... back like in my youth warm and cozy and safe in mother's bosom loved, as only a mother can, and did. Never again this coziness to be found I lash out in bitter anger first stringing myself down and then all around me this swirling madman I've become with no quell of chemical of even illbess insight, a fury of bitter deep angers may brewing over constant injustices and all the angers of contempt I hold for a god I do brag, failing myself only if which I can speak, but of course I know it's myself the failure within. It's the last laugh upon the self this madness beating me down burning from the neuron, the heart of the cellular nuclear furnace, from where an ember burning bright maybe finally burning out ??? A virus in the death throes, perhaps I am about yo be set free. The others before me so enlightened jumped without patience at any such chance to leave in an instant, however always actually inwardly reserved and timid towards self preservation over threat I've always some managed to stay alive, and pick my friends so carefully, and depart before too much hurt can be spread over me, I'll not be long kept down either here nor there.

Excerpt ~ Endings and Beginnings ~ I Am Program

The Dichotomy of A Nation About To Fall

After wave and wave and wave of disinformation, what tactic do you think best serves its useful purpose next?

First two answers from facebook...

NAME STRUCK 

Stockpile ammo.

Like

 · Reply · 46 Mins

Manage

NAME STRUCK

The Truth.
And Love And Peace.

Like

 · Reply · 13 Mins

What no one ever cares about in a selfish world is a friend like me looking at my friends at the two extremes, and as I am in the middle I will most certainly just get cut down. Of course, someone will say jump, and how high, and etc. it will just start again elsewhere until we are each caught in a crossfire of sorts. When the heck do we wake up as Americans and get over ourselves? I agree with each of you because I will be exercising the option that guarantees I survive too !!! But better yet I will exercise an option upon which others can at least agree to think through these options well ahead of time before they are executed and then, throw down the gauntlet because I think we are perfectly split divisively at home as in Viet!Nam era days, and precisely orchestrated behind the scenes by a majority of the members of the Democratic Party, I will inject, and in attempt to ensure Another Clinton travesty, but far worse, falling further into the trap being set finally at long last revealed as uncovered and fully criminal without doubt and sadly a debacle we may not time and when as such, weak for the striking too quickly implode as there would be a very swift confusion of power if not prepared and with certain other tactics I cannot discuss, down we go... and trust we are at a Holy was as it has been declared, ask a Frenchman or an Englishman, as they all now surely believe, and so how best do we bridge the personal divides far and long before the wolf is at the door, because trust me when I say not that he is coming, but that he is indeed and in fact lurking far to near.

There are laws in this land, and when these laws are no longer enforced and the citizens get so lax they think that they can do as they please, well you have what we have today, alongside a well orchestrated decades in the making long political coupe of the modern era that was completely defeated, which I clearly predicted before anyone in the media and anyone I heard anywhere, fact !!! Go check my timeline !!! Compare it to any valid legitimate source !!! I have a history of seeing the future and it is being swiftly revealed if you can read past the junk I have written and the other distractions in art. I know who needs to know, knows and things get accomplished exactly and precisely as they should, and that is for certain.

I know for a fact there is massive corruption throughout the entire government because we are splintered but more than anything disrespectful of the law, and myself included I have rather rebellious and cavalier attitude at the same time, but I think we promote those things in America as American as Cowboys with that same fierce determination and drive and the ability to offer up their own lives for change that they each believed in, as I feel, so I kind of feel I know the feeling to a degree. A man just wants to be a man of his own ability to support himself and his immediate kinfolk and to be able to go through a few problems without assinine things like taking a license from a man who has made financial and responsibility mistakes such a child support. When you steal his privilege to drive a motor vehicle, which has nothing at all to do with ANYTHING BUT a way to inflict a harsh penalty for certain but on who ??

who pays for the dead beat dad who when he does decide to help out cannot any longer because of stupid politics, where now you leave the state with the expense, and that means the taxpayers.

Aso, what of those who just do not contribute at al in taxes as so required? Isn't there a law about that? But finances? Can we go after broke people? Too many double standards without foundations of logic and rationale i s all I observe in a nation where we have more people in recorded history incarcerated, however I do not know if that is necessarily the largest percentage of the entire population at any given time being incarcerated, and indeed if it is both, it further more shows only one of two things, that we have a failing correctional system or that criminal s cannot be reformed. The only other conclusion that may exist as an option is one of overall blame and not a solution so much to a current issue with other causation but rather the precise causation itself, and that may be just as a direct result of paradigm that is promised to fail after exceeding a certain population, just as a result of all current systems being unable to sustain mankind on a planet this size with finite resources concerning keeping resources both easily ready and available, so, "sustainable", and equally, less polluting and better preserved or, "

Maybe man has to "war (as a verb) in order to stay motivated to live a vigilant enough to stay driven to thirst for steady work and stability and security, because all too often when a man forgets about the threat of "others' he gets run down, and of course I mean mankind, not man alone himself as an individual per se, but rather every time a society civilized seems to hit a peak, alongside that peak is a steady rise in death and atrocity seemingly also unavoidable as a purely objective statistical fact of mathematics alone, always a proven drawback, and so what do we learn ???

What do we repeat this over and over again?

Is it because a cock strong arrogant leader of worlds gets mowed down before they are able to record their own pitfalls from which to learn from and that next the following "regime" comes along deleting all memory of that past as best possible out of the usual at first hate, fear, and anger, and then just for sustainable power.

It's human t be paranoid and its human for many to desire to rise t the top. It's built into Alpha Male programming as a fact of life, so try and cry as you will, the world will never be perfect snowflakes, and bitch if you will and put others down to you hardcore nazi republican, as though all should be so blessed and as lucky as yourself.

The worst trait of humanity is that we are so very very selfish !!!


I see no hope in any new generation even though I want to, that fact is they are eating this "complete plate of SHIT" up as fast as it can be dished out...walking blindly with their noses into their "smart phones". Perhaps we should just throw all the manhole covers in the world into the rivers and solve this particular problem for good. Snowflakes melt, so no worries about them what so ever. Zealots usually really do explode now, so stay away from each and do not shop at Wal-Mart and America will be well on its way to healing far quicker. Start caring again and let's rebuild small town America fast and rebuild the farming industry dismantled by greedy chemical companies, the same ones monopolizing big pharma through the lawyers and doctors they own. Every aspect of the top of

Donate $5 a month to a charity who is a nonprofit and spends 90% of their total funds on their mission, not CEO's, volunteer, complain less and help more,

America is America because there is no more efficient form of checks and balances than a gun!

America is a Pyramid scheme, is it really a surprise we have a pyramid on the back of the money? It is the exact system we have truly subscribed too, and it's always a party until the house of cards falls, Ask Ivan Boesky or any other famous NY Stock Exchange thief, as only at the slaughter can someone get covered in so much blood money.

Until we somehow replace $$$ as we know and use it so that we can do away with greed and other things, well, these human character defects will persist and more than likely will in one-way shape or form anyway.

I would like to think we are evolving but really we are just simply cycling!

Pay attention to the patterns and always follow the $, at least it is useful to trace these thugs, and if it's a trail that helps weed those  that would cause harm to others, then so let money be that tool too and point that way as we have work to do.

So, yeah...stockpile ammo and then in the meantime while waiting,... try truth, love and ... never mind, I have to load up my gun, I see a hippie.

~ or ~

yeah man, cool bro, I aint carrying no gun, puff, puff, if they want to shoot me, shoot me man, when its my time and I am called up, what can I do, fire back ? No wat man, I ain't like that bro. Right? Yeah, no, right ?

See how we have our minds already made up on both sides???

fukkin' labels.

Labelers

RELATIONSHIPS GONE BAD ~ CHAPTER ONE

The woman who admitted in court last week that she's a liar and that she attacked my client emailed that she wants her television back.



In response to the above, writtem by an attorney friend from high school days now out in California...

.... and certainly not perfectly written, as I've spent enough time here it still and will always boggle the mind at least a minimum, but glad to say you can heal, but never fully recover.You can learn but you cannot delete. You best think at least twice about relationships is what I will say. Get to know someone and do not settle for poor personal habits. They unveil poor personal control, low esteem, poor health mentally that will lead to poor health spiritually and physically soon enough, some of those are not just going to be suffered by the alcoholic / addict either !!!

Truth is, from my personal experience, as I was the attacked man and my ex-... well she served jail time; I refused to testify because she had a bad night, ...again, however, she could have killed me with the escalating full blown events and I know I am happier than ever and safe today.

The State stood up on my behalf because these officers had been hear so often watching the battered guy so often asking for help but stopping at anything further...just as I studied I became the batter woman syndrome woman... poorly titled book, and sadly naively in love man,,, at the time... live and learn...

I call it writing fuel...

of your client... she stood tall in her case and just said what she needed to, and everyone wants whatever belongings they think are theirs, especially a woman feeling scorned, and I say this because my ex, yes I still talk to her, or did for a time, I do not anymore as I cut all these types out of my life for good, short of it is she did not remember any of it...

she feels scorned...just ridiculousness from ridiculousness !!! DENIAL

... she grew up an abusive weekend party hard warrior and she never quit... just hid it well as it was not often but almost always epic !!!

... and well she snapped out drinking,

then acted out from fantasy land... straight vodka and she was off to the races and her childhood friends I shielded her from like an angry parent loved to buy her a $6 pint and watch her go... I could still cut them all down in a blaze of bullets and hardly care the way they never cared for her... I told her early on I would never ever go to this one person home the trouble was always centered around. Fighting against certain disease becomes overwhelmingly hostile as time passes because, such as alcoholism, some are progressive, and I understand from others I have gotten the worst of it yet... she is sick getting sicker. ;(

Anyway, she blanked out that night like every time before.

That night those fine men and women, as several responded thankfully, started a process that very well saved my miserable existence at a bare minimum and my life at best and hers for certain for a while longer at least as she had to go get sober in jail and it was finally the miserable experience it should have been and it was indelible, at last, and before, since youth, she rarely ever served any time for a several page record. There were the 911 calls from previous nights, a record of events, a history of multiple assaults against many others, and on and on, I am simply trying to illustrate all of the classical red flags, and I wonder still how me ? not why me? but live we do if lucky and learn we may and I have !!! I am single now for a couple of years working on myself and bettering my positions everywhere and writing a lot,... can you tell..it's what I do along with a few other artsy things as I study life as a scientist from the point of nearly anywhere as an artist. I adore writing and the arts honestly and it has indeed, along with music... lead me to meet some interesting folks is a nice way to say it, and I am an interesting folk to "they" may say... we are all pretty intense as most artists definitely have strong similar attributes... so on and on... again, most importantly, thanks to the fine... it was actually a woman that interviewed me and made her arrest that evening...so thank you, Mam !!! I did not remember that fact until now, that is what intense duress does !!! Triggers pull memories bubbles from far below the depths of the lake of pain we are the are buried and stored far below the lake's floor and when the bubbles are allowed to surface, more healing has taken place ! This thread from facebook indeed offered release that no single person can force out alone... everyone will need this type of help one day, understand the area ahead now and understand what coping mechanisms are, develop them, and now where to seek more through other professionals, and if you refuse professional help ever your are only hurting yourself.


I am now today very happy over all and have a few worthwhile women in my life that I adore as love interests but that are simply friends, as I need to re-learn to dance so to speak because I want romance like a beautiful slow dance... like my parents made look so simple I truly never once considered the horrific what ifs...and I lived them with two wives, far different than this unbelievable episode. My life reads as truly horrifically unbelievable when e and I am thankful I am learning to walk again here... no matter who is the victim or the attac the er, damage is done two both sides...wow...emotional ride of experience but perhaps of interest with this topic as I see logic and rational in an upside down plastic world that makes less sense more often than not today !!! But never in these cases...the symptoms are classic once able to be observed.

One of the saddest paragraphs I have ever read was her sweet daughter's several paragraphs about waking up with an alcoholic Mother...damn it. I pray she is well today and quelled a broken life from early all the way until now. She is a smart woman and a miracle in so many ways and wants to be the oldest graduate from Harvard because she knows if she ever makes it she will be ancient because the gals that are born and raised broke in these hills where I reside today rarely escape. some treacherous families of extreme broken ignorance and abuse she escaped from, kind of, but damage like this are lifelong and coping mechanisms early on are lifestyles learned at young ages that make your head spin...speaking of heads spinning...well first, I tried to save her... still do to a degree but never again as I did so once, and damn I Paid for it, but I asked for it too I suppose. She does not remember throwing the cell phone on ay my head another night,,, it hit right on the corner as a perfect throw at high speed should and what aim, I should have signed her to a pitching contract that night !!! Well, the scar is right there like a John Travolta dimple on my forehead right in the center... you know another character mark.

I asked her once,... why did she have to make sharing love so very complicated? ... this something so simple.